👩‍🏫✖️

Meet this man—my bespoke misery dealer. He converts everyday moments into deluxe suffering crafts. Morning alarm? He rewires it to play “Abandon Hope” in kazoo. Coffee? Power outage the instant it brews, serving me a latte of despair.

Schedules warp around his grin: traffic lights freeze, emails vanish, and somehow my dentist reschedules me for YESTERDAY. Even comfort food is booby‑trapped; pizza arrives topped with my obscure allergy, paired with a lecture on “character building.”

Need escape? Streaming queue now stars characters failing exactly like I did an hour earlier. And through it all, he sprinkles cheery “You’ve got this!”—inflating my optimism just so he can pop it for sport.

If agony needed a spokesman, this man would headline the campaign, handing out loyalty cards punched with the holes in my sanity

萝莉甜妹人皮话多 一起来聊聊天好无聊啊 我们一起去酒店做玩游戏吖

Great guy, 3 Thumbs up

+rep gae

+rep hes a beast in bed