Zatarains
Pickle patch   Palestinian Territory, Occupied
 
 
“I am Jesus Christ, whether you want to accept it or not. I don’t care.”
-Charles Manson
Currently Offline
Script for Barnyard
All right, now.
I'm just heading to the fields, Duke. I'll be back.
Clear!
Hey, Jerry, how's your mama?
Oh, yeah, it's a beautiful day. Well, time to go to work.
Morning, Ben.
Thanks, Miles.
Let me know if you see Otis.
I'm staying out of that one.
-Okay, meeting's in five minutes. -Okay, boss.
And I want everyone present.
Duke, have you seen Otis?
Nope, I haven't seen him.
Now where was l? Oh, oh, yeah.
The Jersey cows.
-Hey, Benny boy. -Hi.
Hey, you seen Otis around?
Yes, I know exactly where Otis is.
You boys just steer clear of Otis, all right?
Anything you say there, Ben.
We'll take a rain check on the meeting, though.
-Yeah, rain check. -Yeah, that. Check.
Hey.
Hey, I stepped in something. What's on my hoof?
Etta?
-Otis? -Oh, Ben, don't worry.
I'm sure he's heading for the meeting right now.
Okay, let go. Let go. I got it.
-He said, "Let go." -All right. He's okay.
All right, boys, here's the dealio.
It's a little creation of mine I like to call "hill surfing."
-Watch your hoof. -I'll spot you. I'll spot you.
Are you sure this is safe, Otis?
Peck! Come on, safe?
It's completely safe! Since when isn't surfing safe?
He's got a point.
Okay, salt lick.
-It's go time! -I'll try it. I'm down.
-Shotgun! -Piggyback!
Never! You are all gonna die.
-Freddy? -Nothing.
Wait a second. Photo op.
Okay, get together!
-Hey, Pig? -What?
-Where'd you get that apple? -This apple?
Oh, well, it originally was attached to this.
Otis?
What? What? What happened?
You know, it's times like this when I really like to say...
Oh, caca!
You didn't do that!
Okay, okay! Look, this is bad enough!
Please, no one scream, "Tree!"
Tree!
Let's surf!
Hang on now, boys! Yeah! Hang hoof!
Otis? Are we supposed to not yell, "Rock"?
We got a gusher!
Chicken farm!
Oh, I get it. We can't yell "Tree" or "Rock",
but you get to yell, "Chicken farm."
Morning, everyone.
Okay, before we get started, we have a birthday.
Everett the dog turned 13 today.
Boy, those dog years are rough, huh?
Also, remember it's...
Whassup?
Hey, Pop. Look, I know you're probably looking for an explanation regarding
the exploded chicken on me, and the sticky black... The oil stuff.
You are gonna love this! I'll tell you... You the most, because
you, my friend, are a laugher. And every...
-Didn't we all know that? Right? -Just take a seat.
I'll... I'll take a seat.
Cool.
Oh, sorry about that.
Little tight.
As I was saying,
remember tonight at the hoedown, it's free cider night.
Hey. Hey, Pig, I think there's a dead bee in your nostril.
That's not dead.
Okay, the first matter at hand: gray market goods.
As if I needed to say it again.
The purchase of human articles from the gopher underground
is strictly prohibited.
Hello, Moto!
Hey, Otis. Yeah, listen, I think your Nikes are...
Yeah, this really isn't the best time.
Yeah, this really isn't the best time.
Hang on a second. Frankie, come here. Frankie, come here.
No, I'm not... Come here. I'm not gonna hurt you. Frankie, come here
I told you never to do that again, as long as I live!
Now, put it over there! Now!
Sorry about that. Frankie's out of hand.
Oh, the Nikes. What's the make again?
Yeah. Yeah, I really should go, Mr. Jordan Air.
Wrong number.
Thank you.
Second item.
Lest I remind you, this is coyote season.
That's right.
These are ruthless and desperate creatures.
Rule number one: stay in groups.
Rule number two: stay inside the perimeter of the fence at all times.
And number three: be careful out there.
Okay, let's hit it.
And leaving quickly. Walking out. Walking out. Step, step, step wider...
Otis, why don't you stick around for a minute?
He's scary. Bye.
Okay, Miles. What do you think?
I think you're lucky.
Most cows only have four hooves,
but you're gonna have an extra one right up your...
Okay, that's nice. Dad!
-Sit. -And I'm sitting.
Okay. First off,
I don't even want to know who was on the other end of that phone.
-lt was the gophers, wasn't it? -Well, l...
No, I don't want to know. Was it the gophers?
-Here's... -No, don't. I don't want to know.
Why do you do this to me? How do you think that makes me look?
So this... This is about you?
Where were you this morning, Otis?
I was having a little fun. I mean, you should try it.
It starts with a smile, then slowly builds and...
You promised to help me with the brush around the fence.
You know it's coyote season.
Geez, coyotes. I don't get it. What's the big deal? They're coyotes.
Them tiny, us big! What are they gonna do?
You have a lot to learn.
And you know what, I don't get the fence thing.
Really, it can't keep them out.
That fence defines our space.
And as long as I'm still kicking,
no animal will be harmed inside that fence.
Okay, that's what you do. You.
Okay, if you're trying to groom me to be the big leader,
just give it up. It's not me, Pop.
I mean, if I were in charge, things would be different.
Every animal for himself. That's the way it should be.
Otis.
A strong man stands up for himself.
A stronger man stands up for others.
Oh, shoot. You know, I forgot my pen.
-And your shift tonight? -I'll be there.
Otis, you're gonna have to grow up one day.
You'll never be happy if you spend all your time goofing off.
No? Just watch me.
Manabunga!
Freddy, is this great or what?
Oh, yeah. I could just eat your head right off!
I mean... You know, it's fun up here.
Pip?
I'd go with the wood on this one.
That's what I'm talking about! Sweet mama!
Hey, there's animals over there!
Nice shoes.
Oh, doctor! What a game we have here today!
Yeah!
He got the ball on the 30. He's down on the 20. Lifts it up...
It's a touchdown!
Yeah!
Bacon!
Hamburger!
Chorizo!
-Filet! -What are you doing?
I'm naming the kinds of cuts of meat to the animal I'm jumping on.
Machaca!
Pork chops!
Rump roast!
You know what? You don't need to be doing this.
Oaty-oaty! Oaty-oaty!
Hi, Oaty.
Hey, Maddie. Looking good over there.
Chubba Face, you crazy cow.
Say, "I'm smooshy."
I am smooshy.
Okay, now you.
Say, "Boy, is it windy."
Boy, is it windy.
My turn, my turn.
-Okay, chick. Just run along now. -Bye, Oaty.
All righty.
Hey, who is she?
They just showed up. Farmer took them in.
Thank you, Farmer.
Yeah, something happened with their herd.
They're the only two that made it.
She needs a friend.
Wait, wait, wait!
Excuse me, but I couldn't help notice you over there.
Hey! Oh, look at you. You're all...
-Pregnant? -Yeah, sure. I mean...
Really? 'Cause, I mean, it isn't that noticeable, you know.
I mean, especially when you stand straight on,
and you don't look at it.
You know, when you turn to the side, it gets a little lumpy.
I mean glowy. Glowy. It's a glow.
I'm... I'm Otis.
Back off, Daisy. There's an "L" on that boy's forehead.
No, that's just me, the contortion mouse.
C!
X!
N!
-Q! -Oh, man, you're killing me, dude.
Look, I just wanted to welcome you to the barnyard.
I'm sure that you and your...
Not looking. The key word, "not".
Work with me. Not looking.
This is my friend, Bessy.
Yeah, she's a cupcake.
-lt was nice to meet you, Otis. -Yeah, too you.
You know what? Switch those.
Oh, boy.
There's nothing for you there, but I kind of like her friend.
He's out!
All clear! Sweet!
Now, every heifer, every cow Hold tight to your udders now
Farmer Brown is bedding down Let's turn this barn into funky town
Chickens on the left Dance with your neighbor
Hogs, don't slobber on the pool table
Hogs, don't slobber on the pool table
Try to go easy on the manure It's a dance floor, not a sewer
Here we go, do-si-do Here we go, do-si-do
Put this thing on hot!
Better hold on tight When we go hitting the hay
You better hold on
Artwork Showcase
Eric Andre
1
Punished Yakuza Gear Solid 15 Mar, 2016 @ 9:25am 
B-baka its not like i want to help or anything
Jordita Crunch 9 Mar, 2016 @ 5:32pm 
I came as soon as i heard, wheres the emergency?
No time for silly games. 1 Mar, 2016 @ 3:15pm 
crepe



he stalked me
Zatarains 30 Dec, 2015 @ 5:35pm 
that's the spirit! buck up little camper!
Krog, The Unwilling Ingredient 30 Dec, 2015 @ 4:05pm 
I am here to save pilgrims bb
Zatarains 15 Dec, 2015 @ 7:20pm 
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