Tomblink
why do you wanna know my real name   Denver, Colorado, United States
 
 
[The engineer is sitting in front of a red truck, strumming his guitar. The track "More Gun" plays.]

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Engineer: Hey look buddy. I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems.

[A shot rings out and a bullet hole appears next to the Engineer's head]

Engie: Not problems like "What is beauty?", 'cause that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.

[Another two bullet holes appear, on the other side of the Engie's head.]

Engineer: I solve practical problems.

[the shot zooms out to show a level 2 sentry shooting offscreen while the Engie takes a long drink from his beer.]

Heavy: AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

Engineer: For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean Mother-Hubbard from tearin' me a structurally superfluous new behind?

[A level 1 sentry turns around and shoots a sniper who was trying to creep up on the Engie from behind.]

Engineer: The answer? Use a gun. And if that don't work, use more gun.

[Another level 3 sentry fired a salvo of rockets, blowing up someone offscreen.]

Someone, probably the scout: MY AAAARRRMMMM!!!!!

[a blown-off hand lands at the Engie's feet]

Engie: Like this, heavy-caliber tripod-mounted little-old-number designed by me,

[Engie kicks the hand off screen as a level 1 sentry blows it apart]

Engie: Built by me,

[A level 1 sentry shoots offscreen]

Engie: and you best hope;

[The Engie's expression darkens, and he stares right at the camera]

Engie: not pointed at you.

[The shot slowly zooms out, showing the massacre ensuing around the Engineer.]
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Comments
Whiskey_bizz 30 Nov, 2020 @ 5:21pm 
tomboy link
Braply 17 Oct, 2020 @ 9:15am 
This comment is a CERTIFIED HOOD CLASSIC
Testicular Nerve Pain 31 Aug, 2020 @ 8:43am 
Goodbye my friend this is the end