Crouching Oso, Hidden Kuma's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2014 @ 1:26pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2014 @ 5:57pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2014 @ 3:06pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 27 Mar, 2016 @ 3:42am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 4 Apr, 2016 @ 2:59am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2014 @ 5:54pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 22 Jun, 2014 @ 7:15pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2014 @ 11:08am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2016 @ 3:39am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2016 @ 5:28am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 4 Apr, 2016 @ 3:30am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2016 @ 9:54pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 27 Mar, 2016 @ 3:51am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2014 @ 11:11am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2016 @ 11:12pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2016 @ 10:27pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2016 @ 4:07am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2014 @ 2:03pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2016 @ 6:56am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2014 @ 3:03pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 27 Mar, 2016 @ 4:46am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 22 Jun, 2014 @ 3:38pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2014 @ 2:06pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 22 Jun, 2014 @ 9:11pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2016 @ 6:21am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 22 Jun, 2014 @ 9:09pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2016 @ 3:02am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 4 Apr, 2016 @ 3:33am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 6 Nov, 2015 @ 11:46am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2016 @ 7:31am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2016 @ 3:31am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 22 Jun, 2014 @ 7:04pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 22 Jun, 2014 @ 9:08pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 4 Apr, 2016 @ 3:08am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2016 @ 7:31am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2016 @ 3:41am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2014 @ 2:32pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2014 @ 6:03pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2014 @ 3:38pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2014 @ 1:21pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2014 @ 6:51pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2014 @ 1:11pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 20 Jun, 2014 @ 5:58pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 23 Jun, 2014 @ 1:43pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2016 @ 7:01am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 27 Mar, 2016 @ 3:30am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2016 @ 11:53pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 22 Jun, 2014 @ 6:30pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2016 @ 4:08am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2016 @ 3:57am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2016 @ 3:06am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2016 @ 7:31am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2016 @ 5:20am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2016 @ 3:00am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 10 Sep, 2016 @ 9:54pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 10 Sep, 2016 @ 9:32pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

20 / 30

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

24 / 30

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

170 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30