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Recent reviews by Samviento

Showing 1-8 of 8 entries
1 person found this review helpful
359.4 hrs on record (17.8 hrs at review time)
this game makes me feel like an action hero in the most american way possible
Posted 15 February.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
75.5 hrs on record (72.1 hrs at review time)
Its alright. nothing to write home about and definitely doesnt live up to the hype. But its just ok.
Posted 24 November, 2021.
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1 person found this review funny
164.8 hrs on record (84.4 hrs at review time)
9.5/10

This is as close to a flawless review i will ever give; this game has some of the most fluid gunplay and mechanics i've ever seen and the arenas' design facilitates this completely. the only qualm i have with this game is certain art style choices are somewhat inferior to doom 2016 but overall amazing game.
Posted 25 November, 2020.
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2 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
91.3 hrs on record (8.5 hrs at review time)
Its a really good port, the mouse feels good and it generally feels good to be playing reach on pc, that being said, it does have some issues. The largest of said issues being the lack of ability to crouch while moving and the audio. The audio is honestly particularly bad because it is delayed fairly often and sometimes cuts out altogether. (in my experience this typically leads to the game freezing for ~10 minutes which is fairly frustrating when i'm trying to, you know, play the game) but other than that stuff very good port and very faithful to the original (save for the armor customization system)
Posted 5 December, 2019.
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1 person found this review funny
1,075.0 hrs on record (981.7 hrs at review time)
Its a good first person shooter, but not necessarily a good fallout game. the weapon mod system is a very welcome addition to the fallout series as well. for those reasons i would definitely recommend the game.
Posted 1 July, 2019.
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25 people found this review helpful
29 people found this review funny
1.1 hrs on record (1.0 hrs at review time)
This game changed my life, and this is my story
. I was a young boy, barely half a year old. when it happened. I received a package. Inside the package was a computer. along with the device, there was a note. The note read:
"If you have recieved this package, then i am most likely dead. My final wishes are for you, my long lost son, to download a gaming platform called "steam" and purchase a game called "Fidget Spinner"... i know it will be difficult, but i trust you with this task, my son."
I didnt really read the note at first, i didnt care at the time. if only i knew what was to come. Three days later, i had partially followed my alleged father's instructions. i had downloaded steam, but not gotten the game. It seemed... taboo to do so. On the dawn of the fourth day, i began hearing the voices. they whispered to me a bitter lullabye as i attempted to gain some form of sleep that night. "fidget spinners..." they chided. As the nights and days wore on, the voices began to manifest in the form of a man... he looked familiar... he was GUY FIERI! The voices were louder than ever, and showing no sign of slowing or stopping! "Download that game, son, and you'll have earned a one way trip to FLAVORTOWN!"
he shouted at the top of his lungs suddenly, startling me. Being in a crowded area, those around me gave me dirty glares and walked away, muttering to themselves about "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥". I wondered to myself what exactly a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ was, and if it was good. They were describing me with the term, so it must be!
"But... you're Guy Fieri! how are you my dad?"
"Its simple, I banged your mom"
"o...ok.."
"Anyways, you must download the game, son! it holds the secrets of FLAVOR!" and with that, he vanished, leaving me bereft of any small amount of shame left in my body and the surrounding ten miles.
After the short exchange, I went home, confused to say the least. Sitting down at my computer, i searched for the game. after many hours of nonstop searching and toiling, i decided to play some roblox to calm down. After this short ten hour break, i took up the mantle of my search once again. even further into my quest, i located a mystical thing, called a "search bar" it was a magical thing, wherein you typed the name of a game into it, and it showed you the game. i typed in the game, struggling with the spelling.
"Fijet spiner"
"figet spinner"
"...Fidget spinner..?"
The last one was the ticket. "OH BRICK YES!!!!!!!111!!169lol!!!" i shouted at the top of my lungs. But not all was well. The game was a whole dollar. Far out of my financial abilities.
"I failed you, gu- Dad..."
After my lament, he manifested once again, right on the floor in front of me.
"Chin up, bucko! All is not lost. There is a simple solution to this issue!"
"R-r-r-really?"
"Ya! all you have to do is this..." after this short introduction, he whispered the plan into my ear.
"Its perfect. Why didn't i think of this!"
The next day, i set out onto the street, where the plan was to take place. It was 2:00 PM, the perfect time to orchestrate my future actions. I spotted my target. a short woman with auburn hair. I ran up to her, slapped her with the fidget spinner that my mommy got me for christmas before she died 3 years ago. In her shock, the woman dropped her purse. Taking advantage of this psuedo-smokescreen, i grabbed the purse, went into the wallet, and extracted a 1 dollar bill.
"Perfect" i whispered to myself, witnessing a physical bill for the first time in my life.
The next step was to not get caught. That was the hard part, dad had said. I ran down an alley in order to evade the coming swat team, armed with deadly flashlights. I heard the blades of the helicopters chopping the air above my hideaway and i knew i was done for.
"STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!" i heard them yell over loudspeakers.
"NEVER!!!!!!!!1" i retorted, throwing the spinner with all my might.
The next events were nothing short of a miracle. I heard my dad, guy fieri's whisper on the wind "Remember the flavor, son" and i teared up as i could almost see him wink as the spinner sped up to unrivaled speeds, matched by no other thing in history, previous or future. The air surrounding air ignited immediately , killing all swat members within miliseconds.
Taking this oppurtunity, i returned to my humble abode and sat down at the computer once again. My quest completed, or at least nearly, i relaxed and inserted the bill into the pc's screen, and watched the little money thing in the top right corner increase to 1 dollar. Triumphantly, i went to the store page of the game... the game that had caused so many conflicting emotions. Love, sadness, failure, success... all these felt within the span of a little less than a week. i clicked the "buy game" button and sat back, my task completed.
Hours later, after playing the game nonstop, i felt the very earth tremple beneath me. This was it, i was ascending. i was going home. i was going to FLAVORTOWN BABY!
Posted 20 January, 2018. Last edited 21 January, 2018.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
1,054.1 hrs on record (234.8 hrs at review time)
Ok. So, this was (keyword) a VERY bad game at launch. my PC met the specifications, but i still experienced enormous frame dips, crashes, and multiple bugs. However, as of recent updates (Foundation, Pathfinder, Atlas Rises) the game is much improved. I get better frames now, less crashes, and less bugs, as well. Not to mention the enormous content update that came along with the Atlas Rises update. I personally found the story to be intriguing and fun (if a little tedious with all the warping around) to play through. The new graphics are stunning in comparison to the old ones, and the biomes arent even comparable. Overall, I'd rate this game a 7/10, the reason being that the game still has some issues. Mostly little annoying bugs. A big one however, is the inability to upgrade the technology/cargo slots in your exosuit if you already had it fully upgraded pre-update.
Posted 27 February, 2017. Last edited 19 August, 2017.
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1 person found this review helpful
2 people found this review funny
1,190.2 hrs on record (660.8 hrs at review time)
Fun game. Until you attack giants at lvel 5. Then its not as fun.
Posted 21 January, 2016.
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Showing 1-8 of 8 entries