Recent reviews by Big Floppa

OHHHHHHH MY GAWWDDDD

goat bird sex man

I love Elden ring. It is an immense game and i enjoyed every second of it exploring it's beautiful and vast world on a scale i thought was not possible without using smoke and mirrors. The combat did not disappoint either with it feeling better than ever with FS grabbing all the ingredients of what made the combat special in past games in threw them into one big cooking pot to make an excellent mixture of overall amazing combat with the game being friendly to experimentation especially when rebirth (reallocation of attributes) becomes available for use. However, There are some painful flaws which hinders my overall impressions of the game. The first flaw which is the amount of recycled bosses which exist within the game itself. I think i had to fight the watch dogs around 8 times total give or take which just makes it boring and means that annoying gimmicks are added feel forced and not natural as they do not synergize with the mechanics or themes of the boss. Another massive flaw would be the the a few of bosses (excluding hoarah) in the finale section of the game one of them being the godskin duo which feels like an endurance battle whilst simultaneously being a bullet sponge which is incredibly tiresome especially whilst not using spirit summons which would of helped lighten the load. The other boss was Beastman clergyman which was definitely not playtested as it's max hp draining mechanic made me respawn with not full hp along with other fast moving one shot basic attacks whilst being 110 making vigor feel cosmetic (which is a universal complaint i've heard among many of my friends) . The final boss is amazing though but my only flaw is that the elden beast felt like it had too much health especially with you having to fight it back to back with the previous boss. My main point is that the endgame feels overtuned and may need a nerf as i feel it'll gate keep a lot of casual players from finishing the game which would be a massive shame.
Optimisation I cannot speak a lot on as I had no issues although i did get some drops for 10 mins everytime i boot up the game.
Overall, this game is going to go down as one of the greats but it does not mean it is perfect with there being a lot of recycled content which takes a lot of excitement of what might be around the corner away as after a while you already know what it's most likely going to be as finding a unique boss is a rare event come late game. Along with the overtuned finale and Caelid region feeling slightly underwhelming with a lack of a legacy dungeon, i'd give Elden Ring a solid 8.5/10 it has a lot of fixable flaws which could easily make it a 9/10 but i cannot ignore them whilst they are present.

P.S sorry for the bad grammar cba to proof read

For reference my personal soulsbourne order in quality is:

DS1>Elden Ring>Sekrio>DS3>Demon's souls>DS2

True playtime of playthrough: 58 hours

SUCCESS
>SUCCESS
SUCCESS


Better than Elden Flop

Friday night funkin beatbox

Game: an activity that one engages in for amusement or fun.

With Dark souls II being identified as a "game" it is an insult to very meaning of the word. I've almost completed this game fully and I fail to see where the fun is. In the other From Software games this is not an issue. The amount of incompetent design choices which are purely devolved systems of Dark Souls I's is painfully striking.... Why make titanite shards finite to vendors when you have a plethora of weapons which require it? It just makes the concept of weapon experimentation which was widely loved in DS1 and 3 ruined and discourages you from changing your playstyle. A literal monkey could see that flaw how it got past QA staggers me. Dark souls One did not have this and that's why it was more fun. The concept of challenging but fair is non-existent as instead they decided to create congested areas with annoying enemies who have boring attack patterns but they have over inflated stats and in order to counteract their terrible moveset they place 3 of them in one room. I am disappointed as dark souls II does not start of bad with nice and interesting area designs with areas such as No man's wharf and Heide's ruins but it quickly nosedives. It feels like sometimes i'm playing Getting Over It with there just being random assets chucked in random places for no reason with a world that makes no sense. why is Bowser's castle on top of a windmill? The OST generic opera ♥♥♥♥ nothing to be noted there. Combat is floaty does not have the weight of ds1. Again, a devolved version. Bosses are mostly just larger npcs such as dragon rider or are just "hehe there are 2 of them" (can be both) as shown with throne's watcher/defender which is evidence of them having zero confidence in their capability to create a well crafted boss. This game should of been scrapped as it was cut so much from what it's original vision was supposed to be to the point where it is just bad. I'd rather rub a cheese grater on my eyeballs than play this sorry excuse of a game ever again. Skip this game if you have any self repsect or gift it to the person you truly hate. Play a good game like any other From Soft Soulsbourne they are great.

verdict: 2/5 they should be paying me to play this crap.

Noel thighs

Yes

good

Nice game to play with polished and heavy hitting animations and good graphics and gameplay. Don't expect a story though as there really isn't one here. Regardless, it doesn't mean doom is a bad game.