PALADIN POTATO
The Grand Potatus
 
 
:hintlord: :2016roasted: :kag_tongue:
Hello there weary adventurer! You are welcome to take a seat by the warm, crackling campfire and fetch yourself a fresh drink from the keg.
You are probably thinking along the lines,

"How is this potato talking to me?"
"I only took one drink and now this, what the hell is in this liquor?"
"Did I forget to pack myself a meatball sub for my pet pigeon back home?"

Well, I can tell you that the drink is laced with magic fairy powder and that your pigeon ate your last pop tart from the freezer. I sadly do not know why or how I was given sentience and the ability of speech, but that is what I seek to find out...

I must continue my journey, but feel free to have the rest of the laced liquor and the munchie snacks I left in your bag. Best of luck adventurer!
Currently Offline
Favorite Group
We are spuds.
15
Members
1
In-Game
6
Online
0
In Chat
𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓣𝓪𝓵𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓪 𝓟𝓸𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓸
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"Aye, best that we keep to the dark alleyways and stay out of the streets when that potato lad stays around the town. Last night, I heard from the higher ups that he caught Trickster Tomato along with Jester Jalapeño while they were out dealing fairy dust to the locals; that tater hater didn't give either of em a chance to draw their weapons and cut both of em up pretty badly. Heard he came from some sort of ancient order that is over on the far North end of the farm where all them crazies live...
You know what they call themselves over there by chance, Turnip? (𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚) T-Turnip?"
~ Rogue Radish, seconds from a bruising by Paladin Potato
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During one of the brightest of summer days, he was carefully cultivated by the Ancient Farmer Father from the dankest soil that laid in the Farm of Eden. The young Spudling seemed to be under a deadly illness due to the dank soil's poor nutrient content and overwhelmingly amount of dankness, but the Ancient Farmer Father did not give up on the poor, young Spudling. The benevolent Ancient Farmer Father provided him proper nutrients, fresh spring water, and gentle dosages of warm sunlight. Although these remedies kept the Spudling healthy into his young, teenage years as a Spud, the Ancient Farmer Father was growing older and frail with every passing day; then came the grim, cloudy morning when he did not rise from his gigantic bed and remained forever in a deep slumber. The Spud, now alone once more, began to mourn on days end for the benevolent god that had not only saved him from peril as a Spudling, but also, provided him all the affection he lacked at the dankest corner in the Farm of Eden. There was no sunlight as angry, dark clouds populated the sky, the water springs wept until she grew barren of water, and the holy Farm of Eden slowly died away along with its master.
Staying in the dying Farm of Eden would only result in the spud's demise too, so he packed what he could and traveled far South, taking with him a mix of happy and painful memories. After days of long, tiresome travel, the Spud collapsed from exhaustion and hunger that had been slowly leeching away his strength. He was found by a group of zealous vegetables that were members of The Holius Sun Order (𝙥𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙨𝙚 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙪𝙣), being generous holy folk, they graciously picked the Spud up from the filthy ground and brought him to his new home. The Spud lived in an isolated church with the other Holius Sun Order members for many years, growing up into a mature, diligent Potato with a strongly serious personality and a incredibly strong faith for the great sun above. He longed to leave the church and spread the church's name across the land whilst smiting any evil that dare crawled out from the shadows into the sun's powerful light, so the vegetable priests held a gathering to initiate the Potato as a respectable paladin of the Holius Sun Order. The Potato was given the sharp Subway Toothpick blade, the strong Bepis Bottle Cap shield, and a set of card board armor that was poorly spray painted gold. With his new paladin gear in tow and a crispy pop tart in hand, the freshly initiated Paladin Potato began his new journey.
To this day, the Paladin Potato travels the vast world, slaying whatever vile evils dare bring forth chaos and mayhem to the innocent lives of vegetables and fruits alike. He saved the fruits of Walmarus from the magically powerful Warlock Watermelon, protected the vegetable tribes of Krogerus from the evil Necromancer Nugget, and even slayed the widely feared Abomination Apple, the consumer of doctors. The renowned paladin also made some trustworthy friends and loyal allies along his journey, fighting along his side as the grand party of fruits and vegetables battled off the world's fiercest evils. Knight Kiwi lent his unbreakable Bendy Straw lance for glory, Cleric Coconut rose his holy tome for the Ancient Farmer Father, Magician Mango gave his mischievously cunning tricks for wealth, and Oracle Orange provided prophesies of the near future with his magical vision. Together, they are a undefeatable force that will continue to battle away the world's most vile, twisted, and rotten evils, one serving at a time...
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Favorite Game
254
Hours played
50
Achievements
Completionist Showcase
Review Showcase
126 Hours played
BROTHERS OF THE MINE REJOICE!
SWING, SWING, SWING WITH ME
RAISE YOUR PICK AND RAISE YOUR VOICE!
SING, SING, SING WITH ME
DOWN AND DOWN INTO THE DEEP
WHO KNOWS WHAT WE'LL FIND BENEATH?
DIAMONDS, RUBIES, GOLD AND MORE
HIDDEN IN THE MOUNTAIN STORE

BORN UNDERGROUND, SUCKLED FROM A TEAT OF STONE
RAISED IN THE DARK, THE SAFETY OF OUR MOUNTAIN HOME
SKIN MADE OF IRON, STEEL IN OUR BONES
TO DIG AND DIG MAKES US FREE
COME ON BROTHERS SING WITH ME!

CHORUS
I AM A DWARF AND I'M DIGGING A HOLE
DIGGY DIGGY HOLE, DIGGY DIGGY HOLE
I AM A DWARF AND I'M DIGGING A HOLE
DIGGY DIGGY HOLE, DIGGING A HOLE

THE SUNLIGHT WILL NOT REACH THIS LOW
DEEP, DEEP IN THE MINE
NEVER SEEN THE BLUE MOON GLOW
DWARVES WON'T FLY SO HIGH
FILL A GLASS AND DOWN SOME MEAD!
STUFF YOUR BELLIES AT THE FEAST!
STUMBLE HOME AND FALL ASLEEP
DREAMING IN OUR MOUNTAIN KEEP

BORN UNDERGROUND, GROWN INSIDE A ROCKY WOMB
THE EARTH IS OUR CRADLE; THE MOUNTAIN SHALL BECOME OUR TOMB
FACE US ON THE BATTLEFIELD; YOU WILL MEET YOUR DOOM
WE DO NOT FEAR WHAT LIES BENEATH
WE CAN NEVER DIG TOO DEEP
Awards Showcase
x132
x191
x20
x40
x8
475
Awards Received
135
Awards Given
Recent Activity
24 hrs on record
last played on 23 Jul
8.3 hrs on record
last played on 23 Jul
58 hrs on record
last played on 18 Jul
Mistress Potato 10 Nov, 2022 @ 6:57pm 
:explode::LOVE2Heart::DonaldToad::DonaldToad::DonaldToad::DonaldToad::DonaldToad::susanaflower::explode:
:susanaflower::DonaldToad::explode::explode::DonaldToad::explode::explode::DonaldToad::LOVE2Heart:
:DonaldToad::explode::LOVE2Heart::csgocross::explode::csgocross::LOVE2Heart::explode::DonaldToad:
:DonaldToad::explode::csgocross::csgocross::susanaflower::csgocross::csgocross::explode::DonaldToad:
:DonaldToad::DonaldToad::explode::csgocross::LOVE2Heart::csgocross::explode::DonaldToad::DonaldToad:
:DonaldToad::DonaldToad::DonaldToad::explode::csgocross::explode::DonaldToad::DonaldToad::DonaldToad:
:LOVE2Heart::DonaldToad::DonaldToad::DonaldToad::explode::DonaldToad::DonaldToad::DonaldToad::susanaflower:
:explode::susanaflower::DonaldToad::DonaldToad::DonaldToad::DonaldToad::DonaldToad::LOVE2Heart::explode:
Mistress Potato 27 May, 2022 @ 9:23am 
⠀⠀⠀⠀:tinder::tinder:⠀⠀:tinder::tinder:
⠀⠀:tinder::tinder::tinder::tinder::tinder::tinder::tinder:
⠀⠀:tinder::tinder::tinder::tinder::tinder::tinder::tinder:
⠀⠀⠀⠀:tinder::tinder::tinder::tinder::tinder:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀:tinder::tinder::tinder:
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ :tinder:

https://gtm.steamproxy.vip/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2683024999
Mistress Potato 9 Apr, 2022 @ 8:58pm 
   :sibstar::FlyingSaya:         :FlyingSaya::sibstar:   
:FlyingSaya:   :ai_wormhole::sibstar:   :sibstar::ai_wormhole:   :FlyingSaya:
:sibstar::ai_wormhole:   :ai_wormhole::FlyingSaya::ai_wormhole:   :ai_wormhole::sibstar:
:FlyingSaya::ai_wormhole:      :ai_flare:      :ai_wormhole::FlyingSaya:
   :sibstar::ai_wormhole:         :ai_wormhole::sibstar:   
      :FlyingSaya::ai_wormhole:   :ai_wormhole::FlyingSaya:      
         :sibstar::ai_wormhole::sibstar:         
            :FlyingSaya:            
Mistress Potato 5 Apr, 2022 @ 10:39pm 
:oxinablanket: I hope you have a beautiful day :tigerinablanket:

Please Rate & Fav:
https://gtm.steamproxy.vip/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2683024999
:lovewave:
Mistress Potato 5 Apr, 2022 @ 10:39pm 
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Harry Nurpplez 12 May, 2021 @ 9:26am 
Definitely refund The Isle. It wont be finished for another 5 years at this rate.