Recent reviews by Thomas Foolery

This game had just the right amount of loops.

Don't be fooled by this game's art and soundtrack - the controls drag this game down. Throwing objects is imprecise, and later in the game, reflecting bullets, a mechanic that's taught to you in the opening scene, becomes near-useless as enemies fire barrages of bullets at you; Don't bother reflecting one, because you'll get hit by the next one, and then it's back to the start of the screen.
The charm wears off very quickly, just like the game's Chronos. If you're willing to put yourself through it, be my guest.

Good single player experience.

In true Castlevania fashion, the second one is much worse. The level design is less encouraging towards taking alternate paths and finding secrets than the first one, the boss fights are just lesser versions of the first game's bosses (i.e. the Gladiator Dozer (Stage 3 of CotM2) takes several tactics from the Glutton Train (Stage 1 of CotM) while offering less opportunities to attack, not to mention Gremory (Stage 7)'s first form is outright taken from the first game (Stage 8). The option to forgo an ally by ignoring them or simply killing them for their power is also removed.
Zangetsu continues to be the all-around character until the Soul Eraser is acquired, which is equivalent to Ultimate mode in CotM, in addition to upgrading your subweapons. In Episode 2, the Soul Eraser is forgone for the Zanmatou, the blade made to seal demons. Unfortunately, it demotes your strength to its base by removing Soul Eraser's bonuses.
Dominique is the Bloodlines expy of the group, wielding a polearm. Just as Miriam of the past, her jump is higher, and her weapon is longer. Her subweapons are magic spells, with the important ones being heal-focused. Golden lanterns drop the Resurrection Anthem, meaning in order to have everyone alive, you have to ensure that everyone dies before Dominique. If you happen to lose her, then you've essentially lost a life.
Robert is a bizarre character. His rifle weapon travels instantly across the screen, allowing you to kill some enemies before they've even truly appeared. His subweapons are nothing to brag about aside from the D. Cannon, which is practically necessary with its kickback giving the player a vertical boost. Rapid switching between him with his wall jump and the next character's hover ability are necessary to exploit the game into getting one where they need to go.
Hachi is a meme dog with an enormous hitbox unlike any other. The ability to completely ignore spikes as well as an invincibility button subweapon says a lot about modern game design. The game feels justified in throwing dozens of enemies in one area simply because of invincibility. A character like this completely ruins the flow of what's already painfully slow gameplay.
The past characters Miriam, Alfred and Gebel come back in the Final Episode, but they function just as they did previously. Gebel is needed for so many secrets and paths - the game torments you constantly with this fact by offering one block tall pathways that are raised, meaning Robert can't crawl through them, or with faraway doors that can't be flown to using Hachi and Robert's combination hover and wall jump.
Just buy the first game. It's better and cheaper.

Such a fantastic game. The right amount of difficulty makes it all the better to play.

mario_kart_2_v30. That's all I need to say.

• Just the right amount of memes to make you comfortable without cringing.
  
• The game is aware of being borderline dating sim, and it embraces it.
  
• The writing is very clever; even the 4chan thread simulator is accurate.
  
• My one qualm is the lack of immersiveness. I know it'd be cliche to have all kinds of dialogue options in addition to drinks that influence the game, not to mention rather difficult, but I think it'd really set this game off.

9.3/10

P.S. Alma is best hacker waifu. Get outta here, Sombra.

Better with friends, although I guess that's the whole point of the game.

Eh. It's alright. Get it on sale.

It's high noon...