gamer girl: who are you?

me: *mask of confusion* are you alluding to the barrenness of my profile

gamer girl/potential mate: huh?

me: *teeth clattering* do not let the weightiness of my biography be indicative to the weight of my character

future wife: ok

me: *swallows*

soul mate: are you ok?

me: id like to perform the intercourse now