Eventually we all die – the point of life is not to live forever – the point is to make others’ lives a little bit better before we go – those who die without having improved the lot of their fellow man, at least a little, finally and irreversibly break Rule #1, and will be remembered in history accordingly.

There's no way paper can beat rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around rock leaving it immobile? Why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear it up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, OH Sorry! I thought paper would protect you.