Steam Community :: Lactose Avenger

Lactose Avenger

Karlskrona, Blekinge Lan, Sweden

Welcome to the udderly enthralling profile of The Lactose Avenger, the human superhero sworn to protect and serve the cause of dairy domination! By day, a simple mortal indulging in the heavenly bliss of cheese and crackers; by night, an unstoppable force armed with nothing but good gut bacteria and a bottomless craving for all things lactose.‍

My origin story unfolds like a perfectly melted Brie—warm, gooey, and filled with surprises. From the tender age of four, when I first uncovered the secret treasures hidden within a carton of chocolate milk, I knew I was different. Each day brought new trials, but also new powers—strength from yogurt, agility from butter, resilience from cheese, and wisdom from the almighty ice cream cone.

Embark on this epic quest through my bio, where you'll find a smorgasbord of daring deeds and creamy conquests. Witness how I single-handedly vanquished the sinister Soy Sorcerer with the help of a gallon of whole milk! Or the time I outsmarted the Cunning Calcium Thief using nothing but a wedge of gouda and a coil of licorice whip!

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Level

Steam Grand Prix 2019 - Team Corgi

100 XP

Currently Offline

Profile Awards 3

Badges 32

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🥛 Tales from the Dairyverse: Chronicles of the Lactose Avenger 🥛

🌟 Hello, Milk Enthusiast! 🥛 Welcome to My Dairy Domain 🌟

🍶 Contact & Conduct Guidelines (or, How to Stay Creamy and Unblocked)

✔️ Leave a Comment Before Adding Me
Think of it as knocking on my dairy door. Courtesy is key! 🧑‍🍳
✔️ Level 25+? Great!
Or wow me with an epic milkshake move. 🥤

✖️ No Begging
Sorry, I’m not the Lactose Fairy granting dairy wishes. 🦸‍♂️
✖️ No Invite Spam
Save that for your sandwiches. Here, it’s all about the milk. 💀

🍼 Personal Tidbits (Because Curiosity Didn't Kill the Cow)

• Age: 30 (Though my inner milkman is forever young!) 🧴
• Gender: ♂ (Spoiler alert: I’m the one and only Lactose Avenger!) 🦸‍♂️
• Relationship: N/A (Currently auditioning for my dairy co-star. 🥛)
• Birthdate: 02-06-1994 (Survived dial-up and milk cartons, respectively). 🧀

🌐 Online Status (or, Tracking My Dairy Kingdom)

👤 Online: Ready for a chat fueled by milk and cookies. 🍪
🎮 In-Game: Protecting virtual dairy farms from pixelated perils. 🐄
🔕 Busy: Even superheroes need focus. Lactose Avenger, on duty. 🦸‍♂️
🕑 Away: Brewing up some milk magic. Trust me, you’re not ready. 🦸‍♂️✨
💤 Snooze: Dreaming of cows, cream, and superhero escapades. 🐄💭
💤 Offline: Either battling intergalactic dairy foes or soaking in milk. Guess which. 🛏️

🥂 Stay legendary, my fellow milk devotee! 🥂

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