1: We fall in lust 10 times a day -- but it doesn't mean we want to leave you
If the oldest question in history is "What's for dinner?" the second oldest is "Were you looking at her?" The answer: Yes -- yes, we were. If you're sure your man doesn't look, it only means he possesses acute peripheral vision.

2: We actually do play golf to get away from you.
"Going golfing" is not really about golf. It's about you, the house, the kids -- and the absence thereof.

3: Earning money makes us feel important.
Yeah, well, that's what we tell you. But we're shallow, competitive egomaniacs. You don't think it gets under our skin if our woman's bringing home more bacon than we are -- and frying it up in a pan?

4: Though we often protest, we actually enjoy fixing things around the house.

5: We like it when you mother us, but we're terrified that you'll become your mother

6: Every year we love you more
Sure, we look like adults. We own a few suits. We can probably order wine without giggling. But although we resemble our father when he was our age, we still feel like that 4-year-old clutching his pant leg.
With that much room left on our emotional-growth charts, we sense we've only begun to admire you in the ways we will when we're 40, 50 and -- God forbid -- 60. We can't explain this to you, because it would probably come out sounding like we don't love you now.

7: We Hate your Mother.

8: We don't really understand what you're talking about!!!
You know how, during the day, you sometimes think about certain deep, complex "issues" in your relationship? Then when you get home, you want to "discuss" these issues? And during these "discussions," your man sits there nodding and saying things like "Sure, I understand," "That makes perfect sense" and "I'll do better next time"? Well, we don't understand. It doesn't make any sense to us at all. And although we'd like to do better next time, we could only do so if, in fact, we had an idea of what you're talking about. We do care. Just be aware that the part of our brain that processes this stuff is where we store sports trivia.

9: We are terrified when you drive
Want to know how to reduce your big, tough guy to a quivering mass of fear? Ask him for the car keys.

Even if your man is too diplomatic to tell you, he is terrified that you will turn him into a crash-test dummy.

10: This is the most important thing a man never told you: If you let us be us, if you embrace our stupid poker night, if you encourage us to go surfing -- by ourselves -- our silly little hearts, with our manly warts and all, will love you for it.

And that's the truth.