Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and seeing half a worm?
A: The amount of lives lost in the Civil War.

2 guys walk into a bar. The bar was made from metal, and caused serious hemorrhaging to one, while the other guy got away with only bruises and the feeling of loss because of his friend.

A guy and a giraffe walk into a bar, the giraffe lies down on the floor and the bartender asks the guy "oi, what's that lyin' down on the floor?" The guy replies: " That's not a lion, that's a giraffe!"