hello ywoohbie

hhi

I was out of town visiting, I heard my friend KkOma had finally taken the time to settle down in the countryside. Rightfully so, with all the pent-up stress and frustration built up over the years of coaching the most successful KR team in League.

“How have things been buddy?” I asked, as I saw my man step out of the house upon hearing my car come in the drive-through. “All good, life’s been a lot more chill, now that I’ve retired,” he answered. “Hey, wanna check out my animals out back? I’ve taken up farming as a hobby with my free time,” as he motioned over to the back gate.

We headed out and he started introducing me to some of the livestock, mentioning how he had named them after his players, as the unhinged animals they were. Just then, I was hit by an unbearable stench. With my eyes watering uncontrollably, I questioned through gritted teeth, “What in the hell is that smell?”

He looked over knowingly and said: "Ah. Faker? The goat is never washed.”

I like to creep around my home and act like a goblin

I don’t know why but I just enjoy doing this. Maybe it’s my way of dealing with stress or something but I just do it about once every week. Generally I’ll carry around a sack and creep around in a sort of crouch-walking position making goblin noises, then I’ll walk around my house and pick up various different “trinkets” and put them in my bag while saying stuff like “I’ll be having that” and laughing maniacally in my goblin voice (“trinkets” can include anything from ♥♥♥♥ I find on the ground to cutlery or other utensils). The other day I was talking with my neighbours and they mentioned hearing weird noises like what I wrote about and I was just internally screaming the entire conversation. I’m 99% sure they don’t know it’s me but god that 1% chance is seriously weighing on my mind.

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢠⢮⣿⠃⢸⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠟⣿⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣰⣣⣟⠇⠀⢸⠃⠀⢰⣷⠀⣿⡆⠀⠸⡆⠸⣷⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢠⣿⣿⡏⠀⢠⡏⣠⠒⠒⠓⣄⡌⠒⠠⢄⠙⣦⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀
⢠⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⡿⠊⠈⠆⠀⠴⠁⠣⣀⣀⠏⠙⢺⣟⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀
⢸⣿⡿⠁⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣧⢿⡧⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢳⣶⣶⣶⣶⡒⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⣀⢀⡀⣀⢀⡀⣠⢎⣀⡄⢀⠀⡀⡀⢘⣯⣳⣀⢀⡀⣀⢀⡀⣀

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⡴⣟⣿⣻⣆⢰⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠙⣿⣿⠇⠈⣿⣿⠱⠭⠄⠀⠀
⢷⣿⡀⣸⣿⡞⣿⣿⣄⠀⠉⠁⣼⣿⢿⣿⣧⠈⠁⠀⣰⣿⣿⣠⣴⣶⣦⣄
⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠒⠓⠒⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠓⠻⡏⣿⣿⠿