Seneste anmeldelser af Philly Wonken

Did you know that control is a strange game? If you didn't know that, it's fine, I won't judge you to your face or anything. Control is a game by Remedy. Remedy have a pretty good reputation. They've made Max payne 1 and 2, which are easily in my top twenty games of all time. MAx Payne would be along the first ten and max payne two would be in the teens. One game that wouldn't show up on that list though is Quantum Break, which just lacked all of that Remedy Magic in favor of big actors and ''inter media ambitions''. Which really meant there were multiple 30 minute long, live action cutscenes that often had literally nothing to do with the main plot.

Control, on the other hand remembers to be weird, to have fun with its cast and visuals in a way that only remedy could pull off. Yet, I can't help not to be set ablaze by Control. Something about its level desing, something about the combat, something about the plot just bores me. I'm sad to say that Control might have the weakest story in a Remedy game. It doesn't have the brilliant, mysterious, perfectly structured tale of Alan Wake 1 and 2. Even Quantum Break had more going on.

But, I haven't even explained the who or what of everything, so let's back up. You play as Jesse? I don't remember her name, I think it's Jesse... Jesse is a lady with a secret imaginary friend who stumbles into the federal bureau of control. A place where everything paranormal is kept and where the building itself is a paranormal entity. So you go in and quickly you'll find the place deserted, except for Ahti the Janitor and the director who spends most of his waking moments filling paperwork and shooting himself in the brain.

But then you pick up his gun, everything goes white and you're taken into the tutorial-verse where tutorials happen. From these tutorials, you'll learn to fly, trow rocks, shield yourself like a ♥♥♥♥♥ and dodge. You know I keep starting these reviews, I have like five scripts that I've begun, and none of this ♥♥♥♥ goes anywhere. I just want to play control, but instead I'm forcing myself into writing this crap.

I convince myself that I have stuff to say about a game, just because I happen to have strange feelings for it. But, when it comes time to communicate those feelings I can't bring myself to swear enough to get my message accross. I find control to be a bit underwhelming story wise. It definitely has more interesting lore than it does a main plot. For example, I'm replaying the game right now and, let me describe what's going on in the story. Jesse has to reactivate the big generator to get the elevator running... That's it. That's the plot of an entire level of Control.

Compare that with Alan Wake or even Quantum Break where the ongoing plot is always mostly interesting and intricate. Control just has a lot of nothing going on and hopes to fill the void with memos and funny recordings of stuff. In other Remedy games, the side stuff like the tv shows and various bits of lore building would be the cherry on top. But control is just a whole pile of cherries. Where's the ice cream remedy? I WANT MY ICE CREAM REMEDY! What I mean is that, story wise, there's little in therms of an ongoing mystery or constant drama.

Every twist and turn is far more digestible. There's no real ha-ah moments narratively, in Control. Which, I guess is fine, not every story by remedy has to be structured like Alan Wake. Sometimes sitting back, enjoying a bit of good lore and shooting weird abominations in the face is all you need. Which would normally segwey into how much I love the combat, but for some reason, I don't.

I find its monsters unappealing and its movement to lack weight or flow. I'm also not a fan of the mist effect when you kill an enemy. It has a tendency to obstruct your view and, while impressive, it ends up being more of an annoyance. aNOTHER WOULD BE COOL THING IS THE FACT THAT... Sorry I had caps lock on. Is the fact that the game gets rid of reloading... Sort of. You can't just fire to your heart's contempt, like the doom slayer. Instead, much like the original mass effect. Reloading works on a cooldown system.

You can fire your whole clip right away and suffer a long reload. Or you can wait a second or so and the bullet bar will refill on it's own. This halfway measure to reloading just isn't as satisfying as pressing a button. There's a reason why Mass Effect violently retconned the idea after one game.

Another thing I don't like is the lack of variety. None of the enemies stand out as introducing a clever twist on gameplay. The fanciest thing I saw was a black hole that healed the surrounding ennemies. And the environments, as beautiful as they may be, in their brutalist desing and their nearly perfect ray traced lighting. Running at a rock solid 60fps on a PC that struggled to maintain 20 fps in Alan Wake 2. In some way's it's impressive. But, it's all set in the same building and, as such, doesn't offer much variety. There's mines and more industrial environments. But all the desks and cubicles just blend togheter after a while.

Not to say that you'll get lost. Level desing does manage to make every room look unique enough to give a proper sense of distinction going from around one corner to the next. Since I'm not sure that sentence made sense; What I mean is the opposite of what I previously said. The game is varied enough in its level desing to, at the very least, get a sense of where you are and where you need to go. So the basics are there. But, on a greater sense, it does all visually blends togheter a lot.
Honestly, I don't know why I'm so harsh on Control. By comparison to other games like... You know, I tried coming up with a game analogous to Control that isn't made by remedy, and I can't. It's really unique. It's closest parallels would be super hero games. But, even then those don't tend to be shooters. I guess the closest comparison would be Doom. Against which the combat in almost every game doesn't stand a chance. One thing I can say is that I enjoy it a lot more than most games. So, in short, the combat is great. It's really fun and unique, the visuals are mindblowind and all that jazz.

I guess my problem is I expected more out of remedy. Which is insane because control is such a huge package. It has fat loads of content sprayed over everything. The facial animations are great, and the writing is on point. It's just that the structure of the story is lacking and the environments aren't that interesting. I can see why people would like Control. The game is quite the spectacle after-all.

But, when you're in it for the story and the main plot is a whole lot of nothing. Control can get pretty tiresome.
I feel like I'm starting to repeat myself a lot. So I'll cut this review short. If you like video games, you'll really like control. If you like remedy, you'll like control and if you're me, you'll also like control. Loving Control is less likely. I can't bring myself to love this game.

Previously, I gave Alan Wake 2 an 8 out of 10 for technical issues and for it running the way it did. But, after replaying it the other day, it seems a lot of those issues might have been adressed. Because I struggled to get a framerate bellow 60. Whereas, before, the same encounters would barely reach above 40 fps, and that's with frame generation. So, if issues on the game are gonna be fixed that quickly, I feel like I have to update my score to a 9.

Control though, I'm not sure. My gut tells me it's an 8 out of 10 experience. But my gut doesn't have neurons. So I shouldn't listen to it. Let's put it on a scale. Let's do some math. For starters, I'd put control bellow Max Payne 2, which I would give an honest 87 out of 100. But, then I'd put it above Quantum Break, which I would give an 81%. So, let's say Control gets a 66 out of 77. Which is a pretty good score. 85.71% is nothing to scoff at.

As loneliness grows ever present in my life, one sad reality settles in. I'm bored and I don't know what to do. I don't even know what I can say about metal gear. Those games are analysed to death and I'm as cultured as a white rumped vulture.
So, why would my oppinion even matter? It doesn't.
I love Metal Gear Solid, I even own four copies of ground zeroes. So I should be capable of talking about this series, right? You see, I suck at video games. And I'm very stupid.
But, I'll try my best. Created by super mega genius owner of all the doors to all the dimensions, Hideo Kojima. Along with a team of like a hundred underpaid corporate slaves. They trudged along in the high grass and the dirt, did way too much research into how, for instance, wether dogs could lose your scent by going trough mud and ♥♥♥♥. They tried brainstorming ideas, but none of them could realistically outmart a dog's magnificent nose. There's a whole episode of mythbuster where they tried every cliché and technique imaginable to overcome a dog's ability to track you by smell. And they simply could not do it.
Dogs are just OP and we need to nerf them.
What am I talking about? I have no idea... That's the problem with metal gear is that it has so much raw talent, intelligence and passion behind them. It's hard to even know where to start.
I guess I'll start at the begining. You are john, or jack, or naked snake, or big boss. You are sent in to rescue some man named Sokolov. Big important scientist dude who's basically working for the russians under duress. You go in single handedly, with nothing more than a tranquilizer gun, right in the middle of russian territory. You are expected to somehow not die instantly, and because it's a video game, you don't. You get shot and you just keep going like its nothing.
You do lose health and the way to regain health is done in two ways, either by using rare life meds. Which there's like 3 of in the entire game. Or by simply waiting to get better, you can save and snake will go to sleep, even in the middle of a cutscene, at times. And when you'll come back, snake will have regained some or all of his health. But be careful not to wait too long because your fish will spoil.
If I was making sense, I'd say something like: Matel Gear Solid 3 represents the high point in the franchise. A masterpiece of writing, cinematography and gameplay. It captivates with it's attention to detail and its sheer grounded realism. Yes it has video game logic and not all the physics of everything necessarily make sense. Like there's the part where Volgin shoots the nuke. First of all, how is the Shagohod simply being carried like that? That would require some masterful flying skills, if you could even get the thing off the ground to begin with. But, how am I expected to believe that they'd be able to maintain such a complex formation while there's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ nuke going off? Stuff like that, and the fact that volgin has electric powers, and the ghost person you fight by facing all the people you've killed.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't spoil that boss. Or the one you can't actually kill because it creates a time paradox. I shouldn't spoil anything but this game is so full of wonderful imaginative ideas. It's like describing a trip to Disney World. No, ♥♥♥♥ disney, this game is like going to outer space and back, almost burned alive on reentry. It will change your life, it will ♥♥♥♥ you up like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. But it's an all around incredible experience.
My favourite character in the game is my mom, also known as the boss. She is the greatest character ever created by man and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. I'll use my CQC to interrogate you like in the 3DS version. Which I own, I own the Pc version, the PS2 subsistence version, two japanese ps2 versions, one japanese ps3 version, the Xbox 360 version and the vita version, I don't even own a vita.
But anyway, The Boss is great because she sees people and the times and what it means the be a loving yet cold person. The boss is a goal to achieve, an image one hopes to reflect, she is the embodiment of what it means to be a hero and no one could ever hope to replace her.
Did you know that if you kill someone and they get eaten by a white rumped vulture. If you eat that white rumped vulture, the guy will show up in the ghost mission with a white rumped vulture flying overhead, screaming YOU ATE ME. It would be so much more effective if that section had a spookier atmosphere. But, the overuse of stock sound effects makes it almost funny.
That being said, considering how much the tongue is in the cheeks in this game. Maybe, it was intentional. But, boy is this game an adventure. It will have you questioning and learning about world politics, what it means to belong, what it means to trust. The writing in metal gear solid is as confusing as it is smart. And Metal Gear Solid 3 offers one of the most tightly wound plot in the entire franchise. Taking down the Cobra unit is no small task, and those who've done it know that a piece of you remains on that battlefield.
I remember trying to look up easter egg videos for this game on youtube back in the day. And most videos where filled with weird tricks you could pull off or rare dialog which references other parts of the franchise or some random song or movie. Sometimes the game will make a reference only to explain what's its referencing. There's totally pointless frog statues all over the game, shooting them all probably unlocks something. But, the point is, the games are so weird its hard to know what's an easter egg and what isn't.
Attention to detail is really what sets Metal Gear Solid appart. The animation work is pretty much perfect, especially for the PS2, an era where having individual fingers was a novelty. Every texture is so high quality, every visual effect works. There's planar reflections, even on 3DS, it's the most visually timeless game of its era. It just looks tight. Everything is scaled properly, the polygon count is just right, there's a real art style to everyone and everything.
The music is perfect, from the main theme all the way to any random musical beats. There is not a single song here that isn't straight up iconic. It perfectly sets the mood for the action. Metal gear solid is just rock solid stuff all around. I feel like I could speak for hours about how perfect it is. And I'll try my best to do just that.
But, like I said I don't want to spoil anything. One thing I will spoil is that you'll hate the controls. Just hate them! You need five different buttons to use your gun. Aiming doesn't aim in the direction your camera is facing, instead, since this is also a 2D game for some reason, it aims in the direction your character is facing. It's hard to know which button does what and when. The triggers are used for inventory management, even tough the Dpad would be so much more practical. It's just weird. There wasn't a time where metal gear solid 3's gameplay wasn't considered a hurdle to overcome.
But, chances are you'll be so entranced by the first hour of it's story that you'll push forward regardless. I remember my first playtrough. I played using the original PS2 version. The one with only a fixed camera and I still loved every inch of it. Sure, it's an hindrance. But it's so special and unique, I just had to do it to myself. Mind you, I could've finished it any other way. But, I felt like it was out of line from the artist's vision to use the third person camera for a first playtrough.
Beyond that, taking it simply, the game is formed of a succession of small interconnected areas forming a greater map of the russian wildlands. There is no map in the game, not even a minimap. But you're not often likely to get lost. The level desing, while open to experimentation and offering tons of variety of approach, does maintian a certain degree of linearity.
Experimentation is a key word when talking about Metal Gear Solid 3. From the ability to throw snake

One thing I realised, upon rewatching my videos, is that I am now kind of addicted to my own work. Not necessarily in a workaholic sort of way more in a, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ this guys great I wish he made more videos, kind of way.

So here's my most expensive review yet 180 dollars spent, at launch, on two very similar games. What a perfect opportunity to trow these games a bone and watch them fight over it. It should be mentioned that my intent right now, with this review, is to play them both for less than two hours, make a rushed oppinion and get my money back.

Call that lazy or cheap or an unfair review. It saves me a lot of cash and allows me to pump content for my fans to binge... Namely me.

So what is Lords of the P about? Well, ones about pinnochio and the other one... Isn't. Or something. I honestly have no idea what to write at this point, I'm just waiting for both games to install right now.

So let me tell you about my week. So after getting beaten by a 7 year old at mario party. I went back home and bought some magic mushrooms. Next day, I go on grindr and some cute little bear starts texting me, we're talking cute red beard and kinky as ♥♥♥♥. The stars aling, our first date will involve magic mushrooms.

The next day, a girl starts texting me on tinder. Young asian mom, has two kids. We start texting, I tell her I like games. She tells me she produces games for a living. On an engine I've been watching tutorials for recently. My girlfriend might become my boss... But back to my gimp. So it turns out the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥'s never heard of either muse or Joji. Can you believe that? Who doesn't know filthy frank?

What else? I had an exam this week. I had to write a text about microplastics. It went well, I already knew what to write so I was done in 30 minutes. I haven't gotten the results yet. But I'm aiming for a perfect score.

I got to try those magic mushrooms today. I was disapointed. I tought the world would melt and people would become glue. But I mostly just felt normal. Still, drigs are cool. If a stranger offers you drugs, take them. The stuff is expensive but it's worth it. Also, never wear your seatbelt. Safety is for little ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Alright Lies of P, the obvious winner of the two games, has finished downloading.
Well, one thing I have to say right off the bat is that the game runs flawlessly. Even without fancy tricks like frame generation I was hitting a smooth 120 fps with my new 4060. Yes... A 4060, I am poor. But, anyway. There were stutters and skips. But I was downloading Lords of the Fallen as I was playing, so it probaby came down to that.

Another thing I imediately enjoyed was the level desing. Starting you off on a train and train station like half life 2, having you find and fight an enemie who has a key to open a door, having unreachable ennemies that hint at exploration. Having vistas that highlight where you are and where you need to go. So many little clever touches that immediately hit me with their brilliance.

Also, the combat is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ solid. It plays just like a from software title. Mom was right, we did have Bloodborne at home...

Gaming is my life and, as crazy as it seems to me, Flatout 2 is the game I spent to most time on by far. Across all the platforms I've owned it on (PS2, Xbox, PSP and, originally, as a boxed version on PC) I easily spent over 3000 hours on it.

Half Life 2 may be what I consider the greatest game ever made, but Flatout 2 is definitely my favourite game.

Stutters like hell durring the video cutscenes. Stutters like hell during character creation (which doesn't include women. because apparently those people don't exist). Crawls to 10 fps as soon as you get into gameplay and crashes.

Do not buy in currrent state. Get Lies of P!

Let's go over what I could gleam of the plot from the intro. Gods are dead, thank the anti-god for that. Oh yeah, by the way, there isn't a word for it yet, but I am of the belief that deistic genocide is the only solution for the world's ills. Kill all the gods! Ever heard of yaweh, hes a self evident jealous, homophobic, genocidal abortionist pyromaniac and people worship him as the god of love. LOVE of all things!

Beyond that, I didn't get who you are or why.

Mostly because this stuttering ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mess crashed the second it got into some real gameplay. Let's just say that I did get a refund on this one. Beyond running like ass, it also has terrible level desing, terrible controls and just awful visuals. Like this obstacle here.
Lords of the fallen was too good to just play like dark souls. So one thing it adds is a dedicated run key. The dodge key is now the dodge key and nothing else. The part that sucks is the fact that you have to be running in order to jump. You jump by pressing a. But you can only jump when running. This would make sense if run and jump were the same button. But, as it is it just makes it feel like the jump button is broken.

The combat also sucks. The animations are wooden and lack weight. The art desing is uniniteresting and it physically stinks. Having it on my PC releases a foul odour.

Rat Chit and Clank as always been kind of underwhelming. Many of the PS2 games were made in a year and it shows, the PS3 games were either too short or absolute trash and the PS4 game was a decent shooter whose story suffered from being a movie tie in. Rift Appart has none of these issues. It's a lenghty, well developped, well written and honestly kind of charming video game.
It might be the best entry in the franchise. It's the first one I played long enough to see trough the end, at the very least, and it wasn't because of making a review. I just casually played it. Like a person.
My fursona is a spermophile. Big parade in metro city otropolis. You are being awarded the biggest most important ever person award for being so awesome when suddenly, da lil robot goes, heres a magic interdimensional space gun I built in my spare time. Use it to go get laid, you useless virgin.
But then some character from a previous entry in the franchise comes out of nowhere and snatches himself away to a universe where he aint a little ♥♥♥♥♥♥.
So you go after him, you fight stuff, shoot stuff, buy guns, have sexual desires towards a cartoon. The usual stuff. My biggest issue is how droning the gameplay can get. You're not very vulnerable and many weapons can single hit enemies. So, outside of bosses, it lacks a bit of challenge, and given that 95% of the gameplay consists of combat, it can make the game feel a bit more boring than it could be.
Variety is kind of an issue. I'm fine with a game being mostly combat, but there's no juggling or strategy to it. You can just point shoot and dodge every thing with every gun. They do try to bring in different ennemies and constant upgrades to weapons and stuff. And certain weapons are better for certain situations. So, it's technically competent. But, I dont know, something about the pacing of this game felt like swimming trough gruel. I dont know how else to explain it.
Visually, the game is pretty stunning, it's true pixar level stuff. From the beautiful fur drenched with sweat from her delicious armpit to the amazing level of detail put into every inch of the environment. The levels are varied and while some of them do boil down to a swamp with some platforms, there is enough beautiful vistas to stare at to overlook some of the less stellar work.
So, yeah, overall I give Rift appart a solid 92 out of 114. It's a game for kids of all ages. Nothing special, but a solid experience that left me satisfied.

Finally, I can finalise the finality.

Garfield is immense, it's huge. But is it deep? Or is it's story sanitised trash that makes no sense? Let's go over the beggining. You are some random miner with no experience, except for the fact that you're a former bounty hunter who owes a blood debt to his familia. Soon after touching the Magical LDS McGuffin. Franklin comes in and he goes you touched the magic space rock. Here's the keys to my ship and a trophy proving you are a special.
Then you go to his bosses and they're like OMG THE MCGUFFIN IF YOU PUT THEM TOGHETER IT MAKE A SUPER GUFFIN WE neeed MOOOOOOOOORE! we need more paper to paper So you go around the galaxy and collect more mcguffins. Along the way you'll encounter Deus Ex man who will simply not do any memes. I scream at him about my dad and he never goes what a shame or complain about how he never asked for things. Mostly he's just busy being a twee space cowboy daddy.
He never tells his crotch gobblin that she's a ♥♥♥♥ who's just like her ♥♥♥♥♥ of a mother. He's just a nice dad, all around good guy and who cares. I want him to M Preg me. So I became a ranger, somehow... There was something about a bank heist gone wrong. Leading to a sinister plot about a bunch of hired goons sent to bully a farmer off of her land. Point is I got off track from the main plot, as you do in these games and soon I was in Neon shooting down mobsters.
So, let's talk shooty bang bang. Gamefeels and such. Is the combat lacking in the being good departement or does it be one acceptable, not terrible aspect of a larger experience? Why is the answer yes and how is what I'm saying even coherent? The answer is, it's not coherent, not of this is.
Oh, and if you're wondering why none of this endless babble his represented by the visuals or makes any sense whatsoever. ♥♥♥♥ you, subscribe to my channel and then unsubscribe. MY CONTENT is terrible. and it will remain terrible until a company forces me to become competent.
So you get a bunch of guns and they all look like space guns. Even the double barrel shotgun is a space double barrel shotgun. As if the best desing we can pull off for a shotgun 7 billion years from now is just twin barrels again. Let's just pretend full automatics dont exist. Why am I such a ♥♥♥♥♥♥. complaining about gun logic in a future space game. I should ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ kill myself.
I like that the AI is at least reactive enough to scramble when you throw a grenade at them. The sound is punchy. The music is mostly a few droning notes, but it does the job. Overall the combat is good, if a little way too spongy. I wish the time to kill and die was shorter, much much shorter. As you progress you will find guns that deal reasonable amounts of damage. But part of me just wishes headshots were instant death, you know?
There's talk that ID Software helped with the combat and, the more I played, the more it showed. There's a far greater sense of balance and a far more reactive pacing to combat than previous bethesda games. It's not great, it's just a lot better.
Let's talk graphics, the series s version runs at 900p, which is roughly 83% of 1080p, for those interested. So, as someone stuck with a gtx 1070, that was my target. And while I do own a Series S, for some ungodly, drug induced reason. I did not play this game cross save on xbox. No no no I played it cross save on the Steam Deck. And, let me tell you, if garfield on xbox offers a rock solid 30 fps. Then garfield on steam deck offers a wobbly 22 fps. It's like playing a game.
And let's not even mention how terrible it looks with the default settings. 50% of 800p is not pretty. And it only gets uglier as you stand still and let the pixels settle. I've played some ugly switch ports in my day, I'm even a fan of many ugly Switch ports, but this is some rough rough ♥♥♥♥. It is honestly the worst performance I've seen on the device. Altough, I'm sure Jedi Survivor is worse. I will give Garfield one thing, it doesn't stutter much if at all. Sometimes it crashes, but it's not a bug filled mess with issues that won't ever be fixed.
My optimised settings? Everything on low, the game already looks as real as life itself anyway. And keep that resolution at 83 percent. I guess...
But yeah, visually, it's rather stunning. From the lighting to the textures, it's pretty much flawless. It's brilliant. Even the facial animations look good. They do a great job emoting. And the faces look like proper humans. Good job Bethesda, you done it. A game on this scale should not look this great. But, somehow, it does.
Another thing a game this big shouldn't have is so many different opportunities for players to explore. So many different plotlines to follow, so much content. But garfield truly delivers. Want to play as a mall cop who instantly joins the pirates? You can! Even the set storyline is more dynamic than one might imagine. At one point, a character died. A death I believed to be unavoidable and very scripted. But, out of curiosity, I looked up his death on youtube to see other people's reactions.
Only to be presented with a completely different alternative way and place the character could've died. I tought I was on a set path that whole time and perhaps I was. But there was definitively something bigger at play. Even when it felt most linear, with me sticking to the main plot, Garfield was setting up a unique narrative for me... And, at that point, I was hooked.
It's fair to say that it's nowhere near as open as Baldur's Gate 3 (and nothing is). You can't just kill everyone. Many NPCs will be immortal unless stated otherwise. There's no opportunity to royally ♥♥♥♥ things up, either. No real wrong choices. You can just decide to go your own way, but, at best, what you'll find is a cool side-quest. Garfield is far more linear and far more dedicated to creating a positive experience. The most glaring difference is the way it handles companions.
Companions in Garfield do nothing except treat you as their therapist and sometimes die. They follow you, they spout lore and sometimes share their backstory. That's all. And going from Baldur's Gate 3 where everyone had a real constructed narrative that played into the main plot, with twists and unexpected turns. To Garfield, where you just dictate where everyone goes at all time and no one has agency. It's just so glaring of a downgrade.
Companions have no plot, no goals, no say in the story. They just tag along and judge you. It makes them feel so inhumane. I'm not saying they're poorly written or lack charisma. I'm saying they rarely contribute anything more than a passive joke. I don't need to point at Larian either. Fallout 4's companions were streets ahead in therms of having their own goals and agency.
When a companion finally did give me a side-quest, I was shocked. I had honestly tought they had forgotten.
Also, the money in this game is weird. I steal an artifact from a space collector with a macbook. And suddenly, I'm worth five poutines in a can. With that bounty on me, I essentially get forced to work undercover for some d-bag government bald, just bald. Meaning I was now forced to join the red guys. I just wish I could've given him the poutines and walked away, but that's beyond the point.
When it comes time to cover someones crippling debt? 40 poutines in a can. Want to bribe some rich guy on a cruise so he'll give you information that could send him to jail? That'll be 25 poutines in a can. But, then you wanna buy a ship? That's at least a thousand poutines right there.
And then you get dozens upon dozens of poutines for doing the most mundane ♥♥♥♥. A side mission that took me less than a loading screen to finish netted me 65 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cans of poutine, alone. Without looking for it, by level 20 I had already collected well above 1000 cans of poutine, which would probably be enough to refill my whole health bar twice what the ♥♥♥♥ am I talking about?!
I give Garfield about 39 out of 420. Its a good game, great accomplishment.

Too easy.

I love this game but, the third act is way too hard. I don't think I'll be physically able to finish this game. I mean, my group gets surrounded by up to 20 people and dies before being able to take out a single enemy. I just don't understand how to survive any of these fights.

I'm considering installing god mode or something