You look like a genetically modified organism designed to suck worms out of the dirt and burrow in the mud.

I'll remember the good times we had

Can't believe you are gone this soon

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▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN BANGED BY THE
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░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY BOOTY BANGER
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Is this the ♥♥♥♥ post subreddit?

I've never told anyone this. When I was a child I accidentally poked a hole in a Stretch Armstrong that I got for my birthday. I hid him under my bed so I wouldn't get in trouble. Weeks later I found him and for some reason licked the stuff that had crusted from his wound and found it to be extremely sweet and delicious. Over that summer I would retrieve Stretch from his isolated chamber and secretly consume his syrupy life fluid. By the time third grade started I had bled Stretch Armstrong dry in some vampiric sugar addiction. He was deflated and nothing more than a rubber corpse of the hero we once had.