Denim Tears
Dope Steeezzz   Ethiopia
 
 
Steam legend.
Currently Offline
Thank you Daniel
"Comedy Act 238: CONDUM SMILE" - Comedian, Entertainer, Poet, Daniel Songer
Yes, that's it, comedy act number 238, CONDUM SMIIILEEE! Hey, you know what guys, I have never been one to go up to a lady, and just saaay, y'know, j-just even to say "Hey, I wanna talk dirty to you!", y'know? Let alone going up to a lady and saying "Do you wanna do something dirty with me?!" Y'know, I just have never been that kind of man, y'know, but when I was a teenager, I would walk up to a pretty girl and I'd say "Do you wanna screw?!" Yeah, I'd open my hand, and there lies a screw! Yeah, but today, today, I'm telling you man, you don't even have to open your hand! CONDUM SMILE, CONDUM SMILE, YEEAH, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO OPEN YO' HAND, CONDUM SMILE, YEAH! Y'know, it's like, "Hey, you wanna do something dirty?". Y'know, I mean, it's just, woooo! I'm telling you, explosion! CONDUM SMILE! Hey guys, what is, a condum smile? Y'know, to me, it's probably a BROKEN CONDUM. Y'know, CONDUM SMILE, IT'S PROBABLY BROKEN MAN! Y'know, and uh, furthering that, furthering that, cause that's what they want you to do. HEY FURTHER IT MAN! Y'KNOW? FURTHER IT! So, furthering it, a broken condum, okay, and a cheerleader, and the letter C. Aaaand, I know what you're thinking, I know what you're thinking. What's the "C" for? C FOR(4) EXPLOSION, C FOR(4) EXPLOSION, WOOOO, WOOOO, EXPLOSION, CONDUM SMILE! Hey guys, y'know, for-since they created these.. these rubbers, man, since they created em', y'know, we all wanna know, what is the joke about a condum? And you know what it is? IT'S A BROKEN RECORD! SORRY BABY, THE RUBBER BROKE! PLAY IT AGAIN, SAM! SORRY BABY, THE RUBBER BROKE! Y'know, broken record guys, y'know? Hey man, it's like, all the time, y'know, you hear it, and uh.. so anyway guys, do you know why a man does not use a condum when he's masturbating? BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GET SHOT IN THE EYE! SURE DOES! Y'know, BOOM! Oh man, that stings man! Oh, poor guy.. shot in the eye. SHOT IN THE EYE, AND YOU'RE TO BLAME, DARLING, YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAAAME! Yeah! Shot throug- shot in the eye, right guys? Hey, uh, from going on, um, this has been an old saying for many, many, many moons, and they utilize this philosophy in deciding what to do, and they utilize this by calling it the pros and the cons, aaand they always use that buddy, c'mon, TRUST ME MAN, the pros and the cons, and in this uh, what do ya call this, this fantasy, this world that we live in of man and woman, and of course taking into respect here of DANIEL SONGER, COMEDIAN/ENTERTAINER, CONDUUM SMIIILE! Taking that all into fact, ok, the pros, they develop the counter-ceptive, y'know, OK.. WE'RE GOING TO PUT A STOP TO THE HUMAN RAAAACEE, COUNTER-CEPTIVE, think about it! Y'know, and the cons, ok, cause you know what the pros are, the cons, I'm telling ya, IT WAS A CON, MAN. People out there with the cons, they would sit and say, y'know, "I WON'T GET YOU PREGNANT BABY, I PROMISE, I'LL PULL OUT", y'know, it's like, who is being conned, y'know? It's like, "HEY BABY, I PROMISE, I WILL, I WILL, I'LL PULL OUT! I WILL PULL OUT, I WILL PULL OUT, PULL OUT, PULL OUT!" Y'know, I will, I promise, y'know, and-and it comes down to this, alright, so, they'll pull out, yeah right, ok, so what does that make the con? IT MAKES EM' DUMB, MAAAN! DUMB, y'know?! So how they pull all that together is CON-DUUUMB! WHO JUST GOT CONNED? Hey, thank you! Daniel Songer.. yes I am!
Comments
Denim Tears 4 Jan, 2020 @ 1:53am 
????
BukLau58 16 Sep, 2019 @ 6:28pm 
r.i.p my ♥♥♥♥♥
walter bellhaven 19 Jun, 2015 @ 11:14pm 
ok thats a salute to the plug
Ziggurat 3 Sep, 2014 @ 6:32pm 
he died :(
Peachez 3 Sep, 2014 @ 6:06am 
9:08 PM - ironic ste‏am kid archetype: u produce any tracks
10:05 PM - andersbaseball5 is now Away.
Yipyapper 17 Aug, 2014 @ 6:36am 
im an lgbteen