"That’s the problem with life, you either know what you want, and you don’t get what you want, or you get what you want, and you don’t know what you want"
"Tax companies invest in interdimensional teleportation just in case the middle class hides money in the other dimensions"
"I'm the Moses of ♥♥♥♥♥ juice and tits"
"Oh ♥♥♥♥"
"How much did you pay for your bad Moto Guzzi?"
"People you hate are like slinkies they're not good for anything but you cracked a smile when you push them down a flight of stairs"
"I can't believe all it took to make you insufferable was a woman"
"Imagine if sex sounded like pushing a straw in and out of a fountain drink lid"
"well the fact is only ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cry to coldplay to cleanse themselves"
"oh ♥♥♥♥ that's a dude"
"your grammar is too perfect youre beginning to make me think youre a fed"
"Wow you are unhelpful"
"explain to me the marxism in sex"
"get me some Flintstones chewable morphine"
"IM SO TIRED OF GETTING NOTIFICATIONS ONN MY PHONE ABOUT YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT HOW GAY YOU ARE"
"That still doesn't change the fact that there are 49million kangaroos in Australia and 3.5million people in Uruguay which means if the kangaroos were to invade Uruguay each person will have to fight 14 kangaroos"
"looking for goth chick with braces and a leather jacket and she has to have at least 1 achievement in bad rats"