Greetings and welcome to the profile tour! I'm Neon Nyanian, if you hadn't noticed that already! I'm not sure how you hadn't, because, you know, it's in a few places already! It's tough to pronounce, though, so we should probably clear that up real quick. It goes like, "nyan-nyan-nyan"... Tricky, I know.

What's that you say? You recall me going by 'Spoon Boy' in the somewhat recent past? Well, I'm fine with people still using that name, too, but for now, he needs to rest and regain some strength. He was my screen name nonstop for 28 years, you know! Guy needs a break for once.

And as such, I am now Neon, Shimmer of the Neoneko Nebula! I'm a prism of optimism, child of the Celestial Dreamturtle, the soulmate of Spoon Boy, the living incarnation of Spoonaria (someone annoyedly corrects me in the background by shouting "Nexus of Dreams"), and the Patron of Hope!

I travel the Dream Sea with my brother Dreamy, visiting new worlds and helping anyone we can! Oh, also Dreamy is a turtle and my twin! Yeah, it's weird. You'd be weird too if you had 13 parents! Don't ask. Or do, but I'll talk to you about OCs for an hour. It's better to not.

Anyway, I like short, bearded men. Pickaxes are sexy. Combine the two and you are MINE . Get it? Because DWARVES ! You see, mining, and... Listen I inherited Spoon's sense of humor, I'm trying my best.
This is all a cute way to say that I play me a lot of Deep Rock Galactic, not my partner preferences. Sorry, short, bearded men. I mean if you are a short, bearded man I don't have a problem with that. I'm sure we'd be great friends (I'm also a short, bearded man (please don't tell anyone (insert cute catgirl nya~!)))!

Also you should NOT offer me a fishing pole and I cannot guarantee I won't disappear for SEVENTEEN HOURS STRAIGHT if you make this mistake.
Like most residents of Florida, I'm playing Webfishing lately in addition to my habit of ending up in strange worldwide news headlines.

Casual enjoyer of cherry limeade.
I don't think there's a game about this. I just like the drink. But if you do know a game about cherry limeade lemme know.

Oh... And, um. I might have too many hats. Some of them are also on fire. This somehow makes them more valuable. Look, we don't ask questions here. We have to push this bomb.
I play Team Fortress 2 and more importantly I play dress-up in Team Fortress 2. Seriously don't look at the Item Showcases below this. Most of my best outfits are from the 1950's.

Saving the world... One pixel at a time! That's like, five whole pixels. Your impressedness is noted, but please, ladies, I am but one humble and modest man. You'll have to form an orderly line.

Yes, greetings and salutations, citizens, and welcome to the profile tour!

I am Spoon Boy, totally awesome and legit superhero. You know, the guy you hear about on the news all the time! What do you mean you don't hear -- well then you're watching the wrong stations! I don't know! Maybe I'm too cool for the news! Did you ever think of THAT? HMM?!

Ah, what's that? What I do here? I see. Yes. Well, I, uh, you know. I do the gaming thing. With the games. That I have. Here. The ones that suffer my spoony wrath most will vary, and you'll just have to look at the handy "what's this guy been playing recently" later in the tour to see what I've been doing.

If I've not been gaming recently then it's very likely there's some important heroing to do, and criminal scum are my game! Sorry, kids! Crime fighting is a full time gig! ...Well, no. No, it doesn't pay the bills. It's sort of a mix, you do need a job too -- stop asking questions.

Focus, people. We've got 10 more stops on the tour and I really need a Dr. Pepper and a backrub from my alien fish wife. No we are not answering questions about the fish wife. Please remain quiet until the tour completes and for godsake STOP TOUCHING THE DISPLAYS. *smacks hand*