Bought creatine Thursday afternoon.
I'm nervous. Palms sweaty.
Can't believe it was just sitting on the shelf in GNC.
Guy ringing me up looks at me funny.
Bolt out of the store.
Go home, take my first scoop. 5g.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, what have I done?
Sit on the couch.
Roommate can tell something's wrong.
Muscles tensing.
Room blurring.
Start seeing everything in 2.5lb increments.
Roommate looks over at me.
I have the creatine eyes.
Tear the muscle off his bones.
Absorb it.
Go to the gym, no one can stop me now.
Guy at front desk asks for my ID.
OHP him into orbit.
♥♥♥♥ that guy.
Start squatting.
Legs feel the curvature of the earth.
I'm a monster.
What have I done?
Run home.
4 minutes. PR.
Look at the container of creatine.
Get nervous.
Cops at the front door.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ I'm going to jail.
Open it up.
Eat fat cop.
285c, 155p, 360f.
What would my mother think?
Flush all the creatine down the toilet.
Have second thoughts.
Dive in after it.
Enter the sewage system.
Creatine and ♥♥♥♥ everywhere.
Swim like Michael Phelps chasing an eighth dangling in front of him.
I'm just a swole fish in the sea now.
Muscles too massive, heavy.
Start to sink.
Farewell world.
Wake up.
Forgot to take it before my nap.