My name is Jumps. I’m a 13,000 year old vampire but as you see I appear to be a 13 year old boy. I am Little Caesars' biggest fan and a schizophrenic, landlord, and Kickassia citizen. I know "HardCore Kung-Fu" and have beaten a man of every race in combat including a Turk, black guy, and Deepwater Jew. I can lift a horse above my head. I cannot die. I've swam the bearing strait between Siberia and Alaska nude. In my youth I met Molech, Buddha, Jesus Christ, Muhammad, and Richard Nixon. I invented the rudder, allowing mankind to traverse the seas. I founded Spirit Halloween. Each year I celebrate Damnsgiving: Thanksgiving but to appreciate all the damns I do or don't give. I invented war. I am an advisor to the Pope. I made it lefty loosy, righty tighty and not some other way. I've spent eons in the realm of all toil and only occasionally come out to spread turmoil on Earth. A medical doctor and two separate priests have written and signed a document confirming I have no soul.

Hidden gem

+rep fair and efficient trader

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happy new year!! 0_0