126
Products
reviewed
3609
Products
in account

Recent reviews by Revalopod

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Showing 1-10 of 126 entries
2 people found this review helpful
444.3 hrs on record
mow mow mow mow mow stardew valley
Posted 30 November, 2024.
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5 people found this review helpful
252.7 hrs on record (189.6 hrs at review time)
As a devoted Helldiver, I’ve spent countless hours battling alien bugs, activating nuclear-armed ICBMs, and sipping Liber-tea across the galaxy. Helldivers 2 is often hilarious, intense, and visually breathtaking. However, it's becoming increasingly apparent that the developers, or rather one in particular, seem hell-bent on crushing our enjoyment.

I dread the arrival of every patch, knowing that one or more weapons will be rendered obsolete, and I pray it's not one of my favourites. But rest assured, if a gun is fun to use, it goes against the developer's intent and will be "corrected." Case in point: The Eruptor. Its big selling point, literal namesake, and even a major part of the weapon description, is the fact it shoots exploding rounds that "erupt" into shrapnel, causing mass devastation to any friend or foe in the near vicinity. At least, that's what it did before the balance dev realised players enjoyed using the gun.

In a sad attempt at balancing the Eruptor, they deleted the shrapnel entirely, but forgot to change the weapon's description which still boasts of shrapnel, a mocking reminder of its former glory. They gave it a negligible damage increase to compensate, but the result is a weapon that now takes 3-4 shots to kill enemies that it could previously wipe out in a single shot. This makes it mathematically 3-4x worse against single targets, and the balance dev had the gall to call it an objective improvement. This isn't even taking into account the fact its Area of Effect (AoE) was greatly reduced, meaning effectiveness against groups of enemies is now immeasurably worse, despite the dev's attempts at gaslighting you into believing otherwise.

This situation demonstrates that the developer in charge of balancing weapons does not play the game, does not care about the game, does not want players to enjoy the game, and will lie and gaslight the community about their woefully incompetent attempts at balance. If you think I'm being a bit harsh or exaggerating here, let me inform you that the person I'm talking about is someone who sabotaged an entire game, which you can read about here.[hello-neighbor.fandom.com]

I find it challenging to recommend the game. While it's initially fun and may even become addictive, the constant changes and detrimental balancing decisions severely impact the fun factor. I also sympathize with the actual developers and the CEO, as the game they spent the better half of a decade on is being ruined in mere months by this scourge of mismanagement and disregard for player enjoyment. And on the perfect ending note, the CEO in fact has even admitted that the "fun is removed."
Posted 3 May, 2024. Last edited 8 May, 2024.
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2 people found this review helpful
1.6 hrs on record
I like the graphics, so this is my nomination for the Steam Award of "Outstanding Visual Style Award"
Posted 21 November, 2023.
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3 people found this review helpful
7.2 hrs on record
For a game comprised exclusively of right angles, it is ironically one of the most obtuse games I've played. The puzzles in the main path seldom exceed a difficulty level higher than what a typical child could achieve, yet on the other hand, the majority of the optional secrets are obscure beyond belief and sometimes even encroach into ARG territory. So you either A: win the game, and be left without the feeling of accomplishment due to the lack of hardship endured, never quite shaking off the feeling you're still in the tutorial. Or B: attempt some of the needlessly obscure secret "puzzles" and be left with a tremendous headache after bashing your head against some of the most frustrating and asinine puzzles you'll likely ever encounter.

Here are a few cherry picked examples of what you can expect from the plethora of secret puzzles:
1): a QR code revealing the correct sequence of inputs. This isn't a puzzle; it's literally just getting your phone out and pressing the correct controls that it reveals. Though I suppose it's an admirable attempt at a meta puzzle, at least the first time around.
2): a QR code revealing the correct sequence of inputs. Ok, this isn't cool or interesting anymore.
3): a QR code. Ugh, did they really did just reuse the same dumb "puzzle" 3 times? But wait, there's more…
4): a QR code, but this time it's obstructed by some scaffolding from the level rendering it unscannable by conventional means. So I guess we're expected to reconstruct the QR code ourselves in some 3rd party program? Yeah, this is a bit too far for a video game for my taste. Perhaps this style of puzzle is right up your alley, but personally I can't imagine a less fun puzzle; I have no motivation to even attempt it. This is not what I was anticipating from a puzzle platformer game, especially considering the complete absence of any mention of this kinda stuff on the store page.

There are many other secret puzzles, however a lot of the time they are far too confusing to even attempt or begin. On 2 or 3 occasions it's just been a small empty room completely devoid of, well, anything. Nothing to solve or look at or any hint towards anything, at all. For those I bet the solution is something like pressing the controls in a certain order as indicated by a sequence of random symbols in a random room in a random house in a random level but only if turned sideways and parsed through a base64 encoder backwards with the decryption key being the first letter of each person's name in the game credits. And based on what I've read from discussions and guides, I haven't even mentioned the worst of it; apparently there is an entire made-up alphabet and numerical system that you are required to learn in order to solve certain riddles. Yeah nah, if I'm going to go through the effort of learning a language I'd rather learn a real one with practical use as opposed to what essentially amounts to a glorified cipher. So, just skip the tortuous secrets? Unfortunately as I mentioned, ignoring the side stuff leads to a hollow and vapid game experience. This game is bafflingly designed to be an enjoyable experience exclusively for those with an IQ below 80, or above 150, or if you just love following guides.

Even if you possess the intellect required for the secret puzzles, you still need the patience to endure agonizingly slow level transitions and clunky character movement that will result in many falls to your death. This is another huge issue I have; the lack of airborne maneuverability. If you miscalculate a jump, you're essentially screwed as your ability to control yourself in midair is negligible. Amusingly there's no punishment for dying; you literally respawn exactly where you were before, so the rigid movement doesn't result in a more difficult experience, it just adds to the tedium. And those doors, I cringe at the mere thought. Here we have the epitome of frustrating design: a game chockablock full of doors and gateways - about 3 average per level - and the time it takes to transition through one is 10 seconds. That might not sound like much, but each level is small in scale and will rarely take longer than a few minutes, so entering all those doors accounts for a lot of unnecessarily wasted time. With level design being non-linear and splitting off in all directions like it's a family tree from Dark, this naturally precipitates backtracking which would be fine in and of itself, if not for that superfluous transition every time you enter a level. By the end of the game, I had had enough and was just glad to have gotten this game over with. This is obviously not a good feeling to have when finishing a game, especially such a short one, hence my negative review.

Admittedly, the core game mechanic is genius. This is a unique, innovative indie gem, and it might even be considered a masterpiece by some people. The visuals are bursting with life and energy, with even the smallest critters having delightful animations, despite the inherent low fidelity of pixelated graphics. Town areas in particular are incredible examples of pixel art scenery, with so much visual detail to soak in. My initial experience of the game was very positive, as the rotation mechanic was, and frankly still is, mind boggling. Unfortunately for me, several major flaws stuck out and soured my experience enough to dislike the game overall. My surprisingly good first impressions soon gave way to a mere 4/10 experience laden with frustration.
Posted 10 September, 2023. Last edited 10 September, 2023.
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27 people found this review helpful
2
10.1 hrs on record
Northern Journey is a Norwegian fantasy adventure that invites players to explore a vast array of diverse landscapes, featuring incredible atmosphere and occasional surrealism. While the game's unique visual style is a standout feature, prepare to grapple with combat mechanics that will challenge your patience.

I wasted over 8 hours writing the most in depth review I've ever written (but still didn't mention half of what I wanted to lmao) only for Steam to epically ruin everything because it turns out the review is multiple times over the character limit for Steam reviews, and there's no way I'm cutting it down. So here it is on google docs: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16qpvGin4oqMgIDD1Zh7tza8TZ1fHLPOoWWj-JVY-MI0/
Thank you and have a good day.
Posted 12 August, 2023. Last edited 12 August, 2023.
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203 people found this review helpful
106 people found this review funny
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1,969.9 hrs on record (985.9 hrs at review time)
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to play BTD6. The sheer intellectual fortitude required to strategically place your monkey towers and pop those pesky bloons is simply unparalleled. It takes a superior level of cognitive prowess to comprehend the intricacies of the game's mechanics and the optimal placement strategies for each tower.

While you mere mortals waste your time on mindless games, the BTD6 connoisseurs engage in a mental dance of precision and calculation. Every placement decision must be weighed carefully, taking into account the pathing of the Bloons, the unique abilities of each tower, and the optimal combinations to create devastating strategies. It's a mind game that separates the intellectuals from the casual gamers.

And let's not forget the magnificent tower upgrades that add another layer of complexity. As you ascend to higher levels of play, the choices become more critical, requiring a deep understanding of the game's intricate mechanics. It's not just about popping bloons anymore; it's about mastering the art of synergy and finding the perfect balance between offence and defence.

Oh, and the diversity of bloons themselves! From the humble red bloon to the mighty BAD, each bloon presents its own challenge, demanding careful planning and adaptability. And let's not forget the DDT, which will end you in the blink of an eye if you're not prepared. Only the truly gifted can handle the ever-increasing waves of bloons, adjusting their strategies on the fly, performing godlike micro, and emerging victorious against overwhelming odds.

But let's face it, dear non-BTD6 players, you're missing out on an intellectual feast. While you fumble around with mind-numbing games that require no more than mere button mash, we conquer intricate monkey-based warfare with our genius minds. BTD6 is not just a game; it's an intellectual masterpiece, a testament to human ingenuity, and a celebration of strategic brilliance.

So go ahead, continue your mundane gaming endeavours, but remember, you'll never quite reach the heights of intellectual stimulation and mechanical complexity that BTD6 offers. The bloons await their demise at the hands of the chosen few, the intellectually elite players who can truly appreciate the unparalleled greatness of Bloons TD 6.
Posted 10 June, 2023.
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6 people found this review helpful
22.4 hrs on record
Good game overall, but quite a few issues that hold it back. The combat is almost Souls-like but lacks the depth and complexity to really compare. It gets the basics done fine so combat isn't bad or annoying but it's not particularly enjoyable either. Enemies have cheesy unrealistic behaviour like instantly snapping towards your direction, which is especially noticeable when you Force Slow a giant frog and run circles around it and it spins like it's a compass and you're the whole planetary magnetic field. Not only is it silly, it also negatively impacts the gameplay experience somewhat because it means you can't use knowledge and skilful positioning to dodge attacks like in Souls games. This is just one of a few things that really separates this game from being a true Souls-like with good combat.

To be fair, the combat does shine at times, particularly when facing the lightsaber-wielding bosses. They are well designed and difficult without being unfair, and the fights look great too. The game should have had more of that, rather than all the random wildlife which isn't anywhere near as interesting or fun to fight. And lore-wise it's just ridiculous a random sheep or bug can be an actual threatening opponent for a Jedi.

Another issue is the revolting overabundance of "squeezing through small gaps" sections, which sometimes last upwards of 30 seconds, of just holding forwards and watching your character ever so slowly and painfully squeeze through. Just what the Souls-like genre was missing. To add insult to injury, those sections are often placed just after a checkpoint, meaning that dying forces you to endure the whole squishy ordeal all over again. Fun.

The environment design is especially fantastic. This is a modern Triple A game that actually looks the part. Facial models and animations are also top notch. This game has a ton of climbing and even puzzle sections so I would say it's actually much closer to Uncharted/Tomb Raider than any Souls game. There's also high octane set piece moments straight out of Uncharted and those are great. As a cinematic story driven single player experience, the game is good. But as a Souls-like, it misses the mark. Honestly, I think it should have dropped the Souls elements entirely and fully committed to being an Uncharted-esque game, which is what the game was better at doing.

Overall, it's a good game and I'd give it a 6/10, but unfortunately the entire experience was ruined when I got jumpscared by an emoji and fell off my chair and banged my frigging knee elbow.
https://gtm.steamproxy.vip/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2981316839
Posted 27 May, 2023. Last edited 27 May, 2023.
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9 people found this review helpful
102.2 hrs on record (95.5 hrs at review time)
Dying Light 2 is the fake sequel to the critically acclaimed real original Dying Light. DL1 was a game that people like because it has many zombies, gores, and scarys. DL2 turn it into kiddies themepark carnival funtime for the family and the result is a watered down experience in almost every aspect. DL2 is fake sequel it is suck.

Edit: just when the game was actually starting to become a good and worthwhile sequel, they threw it all in the trash by shoehorning in some gross premium currency 🤮 💩
Posted 23 November, 2022. Last edited 10 September, 2023.
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A developer has responded on 18 May, 2023 @ 4:59am (view response)
17 people found this review helpful
77.3 hrs on record
Turning a singleplayer casual theme park game into a cash cow live service subscription game 👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎👎
Posted 16 November, 2022. Last edited 16 November, 2022.
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4 people found this review helpful
73.4 hrs on record
Horizon Zero Difficulty
Posted 14 March, 2022.
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Showing 1-10 of 126 entries