Ples forgib ;-;

This profile offends me as a vegan transgender hipster Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien agnostic-atheist German engineer who vapes organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 8 days a week. I’m also a nonbinary trigender queer male feminist and identify myself as a pastafarian pansexual genderfluid Apache helicopter dog of mega multi alpha beta gamma delta omega combo god of hyper death who’s in a polygamous polyamorous relationship to the chihuahua who helped me cross the border of Mexico because it hates Donald Trump.

yes

WTF did i just read?

10/10 Stories. <3

I recall my first time with a condom; I was 16 and I went in to a pharmacy to buy a pack of condoms and there was this beautiful assistant behind the counter. She could see I was new to this so she asked “Do you know how to put one on?” I said “No, this is my first time.” So she took the pack and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked around the store to make sure nobody was there, and she quickly led me to the back. She then unhooked her bra and lay it aside. “Does this excite you?” I was dumb-struck and I just nodded. She then told me it was time to slip on the condom. As I was putting it on, she removed her panties and a lay down on the desk. “Take me.” So I did. It wasn’t long before I arrived. She looked at me with a fretful face and said “Did you put that condom on?” To which I replied “Sure did!” as I held up my thumb to show her. She fainted.

I think everyone knows by now that the easiest way to get huntsman spider to stop coming in your house is to flip it over and suck its ♥♥♥♥. Hear me out. Carry a spatula around and when you see one, flip it onto its back. They’re docile once they’re in that position. Then gently press on its abdomen to retract its penis. It will be small though. Use the tip of your tongue to manipulate it to full erection, then suck with your lips until it ejaculates; usually 30-45 minutes later. If you don’t feel the rush of semen, you will know by its legs scratching playfully at your face when it gets oversensitive. The main trick is; Don’t swallow the spider semen. Trust me, I know it will be tempting. But no, pick up the spider and let him outside, then drool its ejaculate material near the entrances of your house. Its semen mixed with your saliva will signal him to move on to another house. Spiders do NOT like to get their ♥♥♥♥♥ sucked by the same person.

Wondering if we can trade?

Be useful to your team.

★˛˚˛*˛°.˛*.˛°˛.*★˚˛*˛°.˛*.˛°˛.*★Merry*★* 。*˛.
˛°_██_*.。*./ ♥ \ .˛* .˛。.˛.*.★* XMas*★ 。*
˛. (´• ̮•)*.。*/♫.♫\*˛.* ˛_Π_____.★2017★ ˛* ˛*
.°( . • . ) ˛°./• '♫ ' •\.˛*./______/~＼*. ˛*.。˛* ˛. *。
*(...'•'.. ) *˛╬╬╬╬╬˛°.｜田田 ｜門｜╬╬╬╬╬*˚ .˛ ...

thank you.

little baby who cries after being killed 3 times

Dan from Jordan speaking Chinese

想要他媽的奶牛 ?

YEMEN

♥♥♥♥ me like a deer backwards.

I sent an offer for ur sniper rifle

693 hrs on tf2. gg you made it to the 2nd milestone, next one will be 6900+. GL

well, it's that time of the year again...

beware 665 hrs on record close to 666 :)
last played on 12 Nov
Team Fortress 2

--rep doesn't appreciate softcore porn

Sorry for the admin abusing, I'm sorry for doing it. I just wanted to have fun, Sorry Radhesh. So... bye, :(

:3

-Rep Made me watch some treking videos in his own movie theater instead of a movie and didn't allow me to turn off the lights ;-; Next time put on some full HD kinky ♥♥♥♥ to play instead of treking vids :>

hey 🎄🎄you christmas 🎄🎄⛄⛄elf 🎄🎄⛄⛄lookin ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥🎄🎄⛄⛄ it's the end 😟😭❌❌of HOEvember 🍂🍂🍗🍗but that means the beginning😊😊👌👍 of DICKcember 🍆👀✊😏😏it's time to hoe🎄 hoe 🎄hoe 🎄all over a big ol ♥♥♥♥🍆🍆🍆🍆👅👅 tis the season to be all over that ♥♥♥♥ 🍆🍆👅👅if someone sent you this it means you're a hoe ass ♥♥♥♥♥ 😱😱😲👅🙅🙅resend to 1🎄5🎄other reindeer ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who need to get 🍆🍆♥♥♥♥♥♥ 🍆🍆t🎄he fuc🍆🎄k ⛄🍆DOWNNN 🎄🎄🍆🍆this holiday season if you don't resend this❌❌😯🙅🙅you're a christmas🎄 elf ⛄lookin 😯ass 😂♥♥♥♥♥😂😂 who😂😂 aint gettin no ♥♥♥♥❌❌🙅🙅 merry dickmas 🍆🍆👅🎄🎄

+rep | Many thanks for the botkiller! You have more stuff to sell? Meet my friends at http://gtm.steamproxy.vip/groups/potatobotshall/

+rep bought my killstreak

ayyy

└( ° ͜ʖ͡°)┐Born too late to explore the Earth, born too soon to explore the Galaxy. Born just in time to SEE HEARHTSTONE NUDES! Hafu Nudes ☑ Lea Nudes ☑ Alinity nudes ☑ Lifecoach Nudes ☑

WTF O.O I need holy water!!!!

OH OH OHHHHHHHHHH #nohomo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cyuktfkHEY

+rep

+rep what a scrub

He paid me to post this comment

༼つ ◕_◕ ༽つ AMENO ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

AMENO CONFIRMED, I REPEAT AMENO INVASION CONFIRMED, PLEASE SEND SUPPLIES!!!! We are running out of Doritos and Mountain Dew!!!!

Cerebro :v

+rep for being a nice trader and for the annihilation of the Arthropleura armata...better not google it, trust me.

happy new year bb

I am trading a few items, http://trade.tf/user/mybot/trades/76561198059649463 .

Powered by http://trade.tf .

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This ok? :p

wut o.O

Regalia_illuminatus