Recent reviews by sexy german

This game appealed to me because of the Mad Max style from the screenshots and videos, and holy crap is it so much better than I ever expected. This multiplayer shoot-em-up is an action packed Mad Max car survival arena where two teams are slapped into the desert to fight. And my favourite thing ever in this game... is the transition from the main menu to the test drive. SOOO SATISFYING.

When I first picked this up, I expected to refund it simply due to it's complexity and my crappy computer. However I kept it, because the controls are simple, and the complexity is not meant to confuse or over-simulate realism. It's simple enough to be used as a fun little way of escaping from your life and just having fun. I love the stance mechanic and the graphics are so tweakable so that even the crappiest of computers can run it. Okay maybe not the crappiest

• Good graphics, tweakable for preference/FPS
  
• Tactical teamwork and strategic gameplay
  
• Servers for many playstyles and gamemodes
  
• Editor which is easy to understand the basics of
  
• Steam Workshop compatibility
  
• Somewhat kind community

• Not very immersive single-player
  
• Making servers can be problematic if you don't understand technological terms
  
• Needs a pretty beefy computer for 60+ fps

This game is beautiful. I spent 17 minutes admiring the amazing graphics and beautiful music, with different levels everytime. Really gets you going and helps relieve stress.

Started playing: was doing OK, had like 2 games that got a 7/10 overall rating.

Then released a Game Dev/Simulation game named Developer Simulator 2093

9.75 rating. from 100K to 2.5M.

10/10, realistic.

I recommend this game, sorta. It's graphics are bad, but nostalgic if you are a 1.6 or Source player, but the zombie mode is very boring and sorta bad. However the bot mode is very fun if you do Bomb Defusal, 16v16 with friendly fire on. It's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of guessing who the enemy is! 3/10 Very enjoyable at some times, but online is so bad.

Be aware that if you play CS:GO, queue with friends. Because these are the people you can meet while solo-queueing.

>The Russian.

Cyka Simulator 20XX

>The Squeaker

Bottom of the leaderboard screaming "YOU GUYS SUCK"

>The DJ

DUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUNDUDNDUNDUN

>The Friendly Guy

The one you dream of.

>The Salt Shaker

"I HATE THIS GAMEEEEEEEEEE" *abandons*

>The Silver

"I HATE THIS GAMEEEEEEEEEE" *abandons*

Based on a true story:

Free Play, Hardcore, 5 Min

Me: Okay, Morse Code.
Friend: OK, I got it.
M: Dot, Dot, Dot.
F: That's S.
M: Sorry, missed the second one.
F: How much time?
M: Oh ♥♥♥♥, 20 seconds.
F: Guess!!!!
*Guesses random frequency*
M: HOLY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥
F: DID YOU GET IT RIGHT?
M: No, we're dead.
F: ♥♥♥♥ you.

10/10, would play again.

Step 1: Laugh until you die.

Step 2: Realize you just spent 80 years laughing at the ridicoulusness of your gun.

Step 3: Never play again, too funny.

10/10, Would laugh again, I Pee my pants, IGN

Not Serious review:

How to play Portal 2:

Step 1: Open up Portal 2.
Step 2: Realize this game is much more different than the first one.
Step 3: Place 2 portals orienting in different directions making your brain melt into a little soup which little minibugs inside it put a portal under and have it infinitely fall until they get tired and drink it.

9001/10 would melt brain again.

Serious review:

This game... is just beautiful. An amazing portal physics adventure. The ending still gets me, seriously. I've finished the game like 3 times now and I still shed a single tear at the ending. It's just straight forward beautiful. And the feeling when you finally get the last singleplayer achievement... this is just beautiful. Thats everything I can say.

10/10.

How to play FTL: Faster Than Light.

Step 1: Buy game and launch.

Step 2: Play tutorial.

Step 3: Click New Game.

Step 4: Notice something called Advanced Edition Content and enable it.

Step 5: Spend 2 hours customizing your crew and ship.

Step 6: Play on Normal Difficulty because thats what you always do on first playthroughs of games.

Step 7: Make it to Sector 3 with one crew member, -9001 scrap, and 1 hull point left.

Step 8: Realize that you made a horrible mistake.

Step 9: Quit game, create new game, name crew after friends, watch them die, go back to step 7.

Step 10: Think you're ready now.

Step 11: See a mantis ship thinking it's easy because they're ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ mantis.

Step 12: After dying about 9001 times, go to easy and turn off advanced edition and cower in the corner speeding through the sectors.

Step 13: Realize you should have gone to the shops as you have no weapons.

Step 14: Repeat about 5 times.

Step 15: Finally manage to play it right.

Step 16: Die.

Step 17: "YOU ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SON OF A-"

-Repeat.-

10/10, would die again.