🧠 I hallucinated a job and still got fired from it.

🪙 I once tried to flip a coin and it turned into dust midair.

🥲 A homeless man once saw me and whispered, “You need this more than I do,” then handed me half a granola bar and a bus route drawn in pencil.

📉 My bank account started sending me threats. Not notifications, actual threats.

📞 Debt collectors have me blocked. They said I was wasting their time.

🕯 A church lit a candle in my name. I didn’t even go there. Someone else told them about me.

📆 My calendar is just blank. Every day says “try again.” Every day is survival. Payday feels like a rumor.

🛏 One time at the shelter, someone gave up their bed for me.

💰 I applied for a credit card and they mailed me back a restraining order.

💳 I once used Klarna to pay back Afterpay, then opened a Sezzle account to repay Klarna. All four declined.

🔌 I call the power company "big guy." I owe them so much they send me Christmas cards asking me to give up.

💸 I went to therapy just to sit somewhere warm.

🎓 I used student loan refund money to pay off Buy Now Pay Later debt for a course I failed. Twice.

🥫 I once paid rent with 63 food stamps and a handjob. My landlord accepted it because he needed it more than the cash.

🍂 A man in line at the donation center offered me his spot. Said, “You look like you’ve been waiting your whole life.”


#PityFunded 🛐 | #BrokeBeyondRepair 📉 | #Section8Soul 🚪| #CardDeclineCulture 💳 | #EBTExpert 🧠 | #CouchSurfChampion 🛏 | #OverdraftIcon 📬 | #SpareChangeSorcerer 🪙 | #DebtInHumanForm 🕳 |

💸 DM to find out how to be as poor as me. I offer Klarna certified poverty coaching. First granola bar free. Second by referral only.