Watching Phenoms absolutely obliterate in CS2 is like getting hit with a full-on, high-voltage, heart-pounding rush that literally leaves me breathless. Every flick, every headshot, it feels like they’re playing with me—the tension is so thick, I can almost feel it in my bones. My heart’s pounding, palms sweating, and my entire being is locked into that chaotic, hypnotic flow... like the game isn't the only thing getting penetrated with mind-blowing precision. Seriously, their skill is so smooth, it’s like they’re toying with me and the entire universe at the same time. I didn’t know a video game could make me feel this alive. Honestly, I’m about one more headshot away from needing a cold shower... and maybe a few other things I’ll leave to the imagination.

Phenom is the Picasso of excuses in CS2 Premier. Bro could trip over his own feet and blame the floor for being uneven. Whiffs an easy shot? “Your footsteps scared me.” Dies first? “Why didn’t you bait better?” Buys a shotgun on an eco round? “It’s meta, you just don’t understand.”

One time, he flashed himself, walked off the map, and said, “Why didn’t you stop me?” as if we were his babysitters. Another round, he bought a decoy, threw it, and got knifed while inspecting it. His response? “You guys didn’t call the decoy strat.”

Phenom’s not just bad—he’s creatively bad. Every loss is a team effort, and every win is his solo masterpiece. If blame were a currency, he’d be a billionaire. Just don’t expect him to ever say “my bad”—unless he’s sarcastically blaming you for making him say it.

Last night I found myself in a game with bibbies on Faceit, during a timeout, I decided to crack open a can of 7-UP. Now, I did not point out the fact I had opened this drink, however, bibbies blurted out "Mmmm, a cold can of 7-up hits the spot, jittering down your esophagus, dancing to a melody only created by the joy of hydration."

I was starstruck, how did he know what I was drinking?

Bibbies then went on to find my address, sending me weekly letters describing the bowel movements caused when drinking a 7-up, even sending me diagrams.

My life changed when he sent me his stomach in an eski, I was disgusted, watching his stomach drowning in a pool of 7-up.

I have not heard from bibbies, rest in peace (literally, you sent me your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stomach)
Goodbye.

Playing with Bibbies is like having a documentary narrator who never shuts up. "Oh, I see the player has pressed W, causing their virtual avatar to move forward through digital space." JUST WALK NORMALLY, MAN!

Every. Single. Action. Gets. Narrated.
"The taste receptors on your tongue are detecting favorable molecular compounds, causing an involuntary 'mmm' sound to escape your lips."

Don't even get me started on when something funny happens. While we're all busy laughing, he's there analyzing Was that funny? Did that go straight to your brain and activate the giggle receptors, causing you to experience joy and go "hahaha"

Great player though, even if he has to narrate his every breath.

I've seen this dude play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes. His spray control is otherworldly, his crosshair erratically jolting across the screen as his wrist muscles perfectly predict the next bullet's location. Time literally stops as he peeks, sunlight curving as his trigger finger impacts his left mouse button, sending enemies to a digital shadow realm before they even know what happened. He is un-killable. He is undefeatable.

April 5th 2024, Abu Dagdoug found his way into my CS Premier, I provided comms throughout the game in which he replied everytime with "You're voice is cute."
I shrugged it off however at the end of the game, he read out my address. Shocked, I swiftly left the match and blocked him. However today, april 7th 2024, I heard a knock at my door, expecting a package I was met with Abu Dagdoug, shirtless with a bundle of roses, I called the police who than arrested him and is now facing charges of harassment, stay vigilant everyone!