I backdashed out the womb, perfect KBD on delivery.
Doctor said I had plus frames at birth.
Nurse tried to grab me—broke that ♥♥♥♥ on reaction.

I’m off that Bryan Fury Bubbler, my laugh got reverb.
I punched an ATM and it gave me double the money—said it was a counter hit.

I’m off that Vaal Hazak miasma, my immune system turned into a boss fight.
Doctors tryna diagnose me, but I got the resistances of a G-rank hunter.
My DNA is tempered—my bloodwork came back with a hunter rank.

I’m off that Shimano sumo spliff.
Big body, no neck, lungs built like a Kamurocho parking lot.
I haven’t exhaled in three cutscenes.

I been smokin’ on that Kazuya Car Crash Kush.
Tossed my own father off a volcano just for the frame advantage.
I have no family.
Only matchups.

I’m off that Dark Souls blighttown zaza.
Every time I exhale, my frame rate drop.
Lungs full of toxic swamp gas.

I’m off that Krogan testosterone booster, headbutted a reinforced bulkhead and won.
Wrex looked at me and nodded in respect.