Being a vegan is a lot like being a neckbeard. It's not about the fedora on your head, it's about the fedora on your heart.

So if someone says you look and sound vegan, they're saying you give off a vibe that you have health issues bordering on serious and refuse to admit that the decisions you've made might have a causal relationship.

Like a guy who complains he gets no sleep but drinks an entire pot of coffee before bed? That's a vegan.

Dude who doesn't know why he has tetanus after he nailed his hand to the floor with the rustiness nail he could find? Vegan.

Dude who just doesn't get why he needs his stomach pumped after swallowing a full litre of bleach? Vegan.

Your vegan trait is giving off an aura of depression but voluntarily using Discord.

Dipping your balls in isopropyl alcohol feels good.
Feels like Satan sucking your nuts. The irradiating sting of a thousand kisses from the nether. It clenses the balls of their slime, their impurities. Maked you quite the bit more humble of a man. For you have now put your plums through the D-Day of nuts. They come out red, burning for hours. But they smell of the poison that lurks within your treasonous soul corrupting your mind. It blisters the evil away.

Hair salon Peroxide, and 100 percent hospital grade rubbing alcohol on the sack keeps the sack humble. 90 percent of your thoughts come from the ball sack and not the brain. They must be pure my son.

The coin purse is meant for dipping. I dip mine in Ranch dressing. The cat loves that.

+rep friendly player <3

Thank you for cervix

My boyfriend [M31] won't stop wearing "90s grindcore" shirts when we go out, despite me [F23] repeatedly asking him not to.
I've offered to take him to Kohls so we can shop and get some nice clothes, and I'll even help pay for them, but he just says "I need to show these kids who think they're edgy with Thrasher skate and Slipknot shirts that they don't get it." Like, who cares??? . We're getting married in 4 months, and I'm scared he's going to bribe the DJ to play one his songs during the dance, even though l've clearly stated I'II walk out if I have to hear "Maggot Infested ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥" on my wedding day. He tried to put up a poster of some sweaty guy with a huge neck that signed it as "Corpsegrinder" in our bedroom yesterday, and I really had to go think our relationship through. His constant comments about how my music is stupid, cause God forbid I enjoy listening to something normal while I do house chores. Aside from his obsession with heavy music he's a great guy.

I just busted the fattest most ludicrous nut ever

I haven’t jerked the jimmy in probably 2 weeks, I wanted to see what would happen. Well like ten minutes ago I said ♥♥♥♥ it and started to wack the Willy. I found the finest video I could find and when I nutted it shot out like a double barrel shotgun. Like baby batter just flew EVERYWHERE. In fact, it came out so fast that the very tip of my dongle where the hole is started to BURN. That’s how much came out with that much velocity. It was over my bed sheets, my crotch, and a drop even hit my WALL. I had to take off my shirt to sop it all up. That’s two weeks worth of fresh sex sauce that came out of my mollywopper in the blink of an eye. 10/10 experience, I didn’t even have post- nut clarity, I had an existential crisis.