You're the courier who's caused so much trouble for my Legion, and yet you dare come before me.

Vulpes Inculta, the best of my frumentarii, is dead.

All the bribes I sent to the Omertas ended up buying me nothing.

The Great Khans aren't exactly clamoring to fight for my Legion now.

The garrison I established at Nelson has been wiped out.

Years of meticulous scheming to place a mole at Camp McCarran - wasted.

The Kings of Freeside are cooperating with the NCR now, which frees up soldiers to defend the dam.

You even disrupted a promising weapons deal with the Van Graffs.

So tell me this, because I really want to know. I am feared - with good reason.

But you - of all people - dare to come here and stand before me, the mighty Caesar. What were you thinking?

[Terrifying Presence] That I'd decorate this gut with your tents.

PRAETORIANS, TO ME!

funny kid, u dont look like a fish so how come u gettin ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ BATTERED

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠟⠛⢋⣴⣿⣿⡎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⠇⣶⣶⣦⣬⣥⣌⠙⣆⣸⣦⣿⣿⢿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⡌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⢿⣿⣿⠿⣿⠄⠙⡁⣿⡘⢟⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠄⡿⠿⣿⣯⠐⠉⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡾⠫⢊⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣇⢋⡭⠟⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⡿⠛⢩⢍⠕⢠⠾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣙⡛⠿⢟⣩⣭⣅⡻⠂⢊⣴⡀⠈⠙⠻⠷⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡟⣡⣦⢹⣿⣿⢁⡺⠿⠻⠉⣀⣀⣀⠄⠿⢿⠶⠄⣴⡆⠈⠩⠠⡪
⣿⡇⢴⠾⡸⠿⠇⣉⣹⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠶⢠⣤⣬⣥⣮⣀⡦⢀⣐
⣿⣿⣦⣘⡁⠟⠄⣧⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿
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⠸⣽⣻⠃⣿⡿⠋⣉⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡟⠉⡉⢻⣿⡌⣿⣳⡥⠀
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in 2009 Dwight Howard hosted a Webcam thing sometimes & one night at like 11 pm he was doing one and told ppl to put their numbers in & he'll call random ones. i put mine in & shortly later get a call from an unknown number. its Dwight lmao. i was a teenager so didn't know exactly what to say, so i was mumbling & quiet. this mf'er goes "IF I CALL YOU, YOU GOTTA SPEAK UP!" & he hung up on me! ever since, ive had a major grudge against him

hey kitten, i noticed you havent responded in a while and daddy just wanted to check in on you. as my princess its important that im up to date on all your happenings. what would become of my goddess if she were to be tainted by evil forces? that's why im here, as master of the realm, leader of the boys, savior of waifus far and wide. its why they call me lord zephyr the vanquisher and why you chose me as your master. i know you recognize my greatness. no cyberspace will divide us. i am always at your side, ready to suck your toes at bequest. this aside, you must respond to me soon kitten, or else daddy will be very angry with you. you know what that means, you get sent to the dungeon for punishment. 😈