The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets.

When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking

... I highly suggest you try it.

Quick Specs:
INTEL i7 4790K 4.0GHz
Nvidia GTX970 4GB
windows 10 home
16gb DDR3 1600MHz RAM

"There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I'll spare your lives. Just walk away and we'll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror."
-The Lord Humungus

"The beat dropped harder than my balls at age 12."
-Skrillex AKA the big cheese

"Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes."
-Arnold Schwarzenegger

"On average, a cats purr is between 25 and 150 Hertz. Turns out sound in this frequency promotes bone density, pain relief, and healing. Note: that isn't just for the cats; it is for anything that hears it. So yes, in return for petting it, your cat casts an AOE healing spell."
-Wut

"Some even call me mad. And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters, atomic supermen with octagonal shaped bodies that suck blood out of y..."
-Professor Farnsworth