listen up,,,, the night market ain't for the weak and neither is MARVIN THE MISCHIEVOUS. caster of wicked black magic,,, master of arcane chaos,,, and accompanied by the meanest familiar in the biz—PLEMBY THE PLUMP. my boii gort the gumptious? yeah, he runs the potion stall, but even he knows better than to mess with me.

so there i was, rollin’ up to gort’s dingy lil’ stand, robes billowin’, eyes glowin’, reality already strugglin’ to keep up. “gorty-boy,” i said, smooth as a cursed amulet, “i need somethin’ nasty. somethin’ real dangerous.”

he looked at me, then at plemby, who was pulsatin’ like a bad dream, eyes full of menace. “marvin,” he said, “last time i gave you a potion, you turned the mountains into screaming stone golems.”

“AND IT WAS SICK,” i said. plemby croaked in agreement. the air cracked a little.

sighin’ like a man who knew better, gort pulled out a bottle shimmerin’ in a color that ain’t got no name. “this is unstable,” he warned. “you drink this, and the laws of magic might give up entirely.”

so i drank it.

AND THEN THE NIGHT MARKET EXPLODED.

not literally. but, like, kinda. the ground turned to liquid for a sec, the sky unzipped, and plemby got BIG. real big. too big. he started levitatin’, glowin’ puce, croakin’ in a voice that made nearby potions evaporate. my own form flickered between realms, my laugh stretchin’ across dimensions.

“oh,” said gort.

“OH,” i said, but like, in an excited way.

then time got all wobbly. like, i looked left, and suddenly i was lookin’ right. i blinked, and i was blinkin’ backward. plemby’s croaks became commands of the universe. somewhere, in some distant land, a wizard sneezed and turned into a pile of sentient frogs. it was that kinda night.

meanwhile, the merchants of the night market were LOSIN’ IT. potions burst into flames, stalls floated gently into the sky, one poor fella turned into a sentient echo of his own regrets. classic rookie mistake. gort? gort was sweatin’ bullets. “marvin,” he said, his voice a whisper of sheer terror, “what have you done?”

“something AMAZING,” i said, currently existin’ in four dimensions at once. my fingertips left trails of starstuff, my robes billowed without wind. “this is the best thing that’s ever happened.”

plemby, now roughly the size of a small carriage, let out a croak that coulda shattered mountains. reality twitched. for a brief moment, the entire market was inside plemby. we were plemby. it was unsettling but also deeply profound.

“OKAY OKAY OKAY,” gort screamed, diggin’ through his emergency stash. he pulled out a potion labeled "DO NOT USE, SERIOUSLY, DON’T." and popped the cork. “marvin, you got one shot at fixin’ this.”

“but what if i don’t wanna fix it,” i mused, currently seein’ through time.

“DRINK. THE. POTION.”

so i did.

and suddenly? boom. everything snapped back into place. well, mostly. the sky still had a few extra moons, plemby had gained an unsettling number of new eyeballs, and gort was now slightly translucent, but hey, that’s magic, baby.

“never again,” gort muttered, rubbin’ his temples. “never, EVER again.”

“yeah yeah yeah,” i said, wavin’ a hand. “we’ll see.”

I TELL YOU AGAIN. PLEMBY THE PLUMP DON’T MESS AROUND NONE.