Kaanito » Games » POSTAL 2 Stats

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77 of 89 (87%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 4:45am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 11:16am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 7:37am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Unlocked 18 Feb, 2024 @ 12:44pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Unlocked 16 Feb, 2024 @ 11:28am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Unlocked 13 Mar, 2024 @ 8:12am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 5:25am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 6:23am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 7:41am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Unlocked 16 Feb, 2024 @ 11:57am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Unlocked 16 Feb, 2024 @ 1:34pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.
Unlocked 22 Feb, 2024 @ 7:07am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2024 @ 1:11pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
Unlocked 14 Mar, 2024 @ 10:40am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Unlocked 18 Feb, 2024 @ 1:17pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
Unlocked 21 Feb, 2024 @ 10:01am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
Unlocked 14 Mar, 2024 @ 11:04am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 10:58am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Unlocked 14 Mar, 2024 @ 11:24am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
Unlocked 12 Mar, 2024 @ 2:30pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 7:21am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Unlocked 18 Feb, 2024 @ 12:48pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 4:52am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Unlocked 1 Mar, 2024 @ 7:19am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Unlocked 18 Feb, 2024 @ 12:06pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Unlocked 18 Feb, 2024 @ 11:18am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Unlocked 17 Feb, 2024 @ 12:22pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 11:28am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 11:03am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked 18 Feb, 2024 @ 1:05pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Unlocked 16 Feb, 2024 @ 11:39am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Unlocked 22 Feb, 2024 @ 7:10am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
Unlocked 17 Feb, 2024 @ 12:23pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 7:37am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 10:14am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unlocked 29 Feb, 2024 @ 11:04am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
Unlocked 13 Mar, 2024 @ 8:12am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Unlocked 18 Feb, 2024 @ 12:10pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
Unlocked 21 Feb, 2024 @ 9:46am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
Unlocked 21 Feb, 2024 @ 9:06am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.
Unlocked 16 Feb, 2024 @ 11:58am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 11:16am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 5:27am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Unlocked 21 Feb, 2024 @ 9:34am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 10:20am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 6:10am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2024 @ 11:15am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Unlocked 17 Feb, 2024 @ 12:39pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.
Unlocked 4 Mar, 2024 @ 1:01pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Unlocked 4 Mar, 2024 @ 12:43pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Unlocked 14 Mar, 2024 @ 10:40am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Unlocked 14 Mar, 2024 @ 10:53am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
Unlocked 22 Feb, 2024 @ 6:58am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.
Unlocked 21 Feb, 2024 @ 9:14am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
Unlocked 14 Mar, 2024 @ 10:45am

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Unlocked 14 Mar, 2024 @ 10:59am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Unlocked 18 Feb, 2024 @ 12:38pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.
Unlocked 13 Mar, 2024 @ 8:27am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Unlocked 18 Feb, 2024 @ 1:22pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2024 @ 1:13pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.
Unlocked 29 Feb, 2024 @ 11:47am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.
Unlocked 2 Mar, 2024 @ 5:56am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.
Unlocked 2 Mar, 2024 @ 7:15am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Unlocked 12 Mar, 2024 @ 2:13pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.
Unlocked 13 Mar, 2024 @ 6:32am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.
Unlocked 13 Mar, 2024 @ 7:01am

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.
Unlocked 13 Mar, 2024 @ 7:13am

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.
Unlocked 14 Mar, 2024 @ 1:04pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.
Unlocked 13 Mar, 2024 @ 7:48am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.
Unlocked 2 Mar, 2024 @ 6:25am

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.
Unlocked 14 Mar, 2024 @ 1:27pm

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Unlocked 14 Mar, 2024 @ 1:05pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Unlocked 14 Mar, 2024 @ 1:09pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Unlocked 13 Mar, 2024 @ 4:21am

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Unlocked 13 Mar, 2024 @ 8:00am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
Unlocked 29 Feb, 2024 @ 11:21am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!
Unlocked 16 Feb, 2024 @ 12:09pm



Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
+3

3 hidden achievements remaining

Details for each achievement will be revealed once unlocked