Our team of investigators have been working around the clock to figure out the mystery behind the beans recent attempts on the president's life. Studies have shown that there is no actual connection between these beans and the ones we use in common household cooking! Nonetheless we have been diligently studing the various outputs and demands of said beans. They have said, and I quote, "We will not rest until all the popuation of the average people have been or are equal to that of the necesarrry directional patterns pertaining to the midlife of the midwife inside of the current household perfume department with or without various ustensils consumed in the process of combustion. We also wish to take over he world!!!!" However, their true intentions are unknown. More updates to follow.

NeWs UpDaTe #2: The gorgonzola beans have just ransacked a local toothpaste industry! At 6:03 AM, Mr. Someday Sam witnessed the tragic event. "They went in with their catapults and various electronic paging devices and they completely [destroyed] the place! It-it was- was uh horrible." says Sam. The beans appear to have no real purpose or motive behind their intentions and local investigators are still investigating the issue and refuse to hand it over to the FBI because they don't feel it was an act of terrorism. The court trial will commence in March.

NEWS UDPATE #3
At 9:28 PM. This Just in! The beans have captured the President of a local Tire manufacturing company! They have, along with him, an unknown number of employees also being held captive. They have released a ransom note whi