“There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp, and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape. But even after admitting this, there is no catharsis; my punishment continues to elude me, and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself. No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing."


He's spent his life living behind a mask but, even though the mask has slipped, he has not been punished. He had always imagined that when his evil was revealed, it would be a grand spectacle and he'd either be judged or condemned and it would ultimately bring meaning to his urges. But that didn't happen. People either didn't notice or did not care and he's left alone with his affliction.