Recent reviews by jimmosio

ryan gosling simulator

it is my dream to give directions to someone while using copilot speak

bicycle

Do you ever have dreams of a macabre looking roguelite game, with turn-based RPG fighting mechanics, which then materializes in front of your eyes while you watch a yakkocmn video? No?

I'm glad this game got remade. On a technical level, RoR is a trainwreck. This modernized version keeps all of the things you remember (including the difficulty), while adding super smooth UI and lots of other things to do.

I've never played a Touhou game before and yet I was hooked right off the bat. Squeezed this prologue dry (well kinda) then bought the game. If you've ever played frantic, punishing games that demand perfection from you, like a Devil Daggers, and ever went "I wish there was a game like that but with cute girls instead" definitely give this a shot.

We did it, we finally have an Italian character in a videogame that isn't a pizzaiolo. Props to the character designers behind Medusa, it almost feels like going outside.

Anyway, game's fine. Don't compare it to Need For Speed Most Carbon Underground whatever cause you're setting yourself up for disappointment

See the "Racing" tag? Completely forget about it. This is a Technical Movement/Schmovement Arcade game. There is absolutely nothing "car-y" in this game, if not the shape of the vessels you happen to control.
You might have read the most helpful negative review on here, the one that says the movements are clunky et cetera.
That is true, but the thing is... this is not a racing game, you're not controlling a car.
The quicker you realize that, the easier it will be to learn the controls of what can only be described as a 2-ton speed demon that is shaped like a car (not "a car").
Playing the tutorial and the first playthroughs felt embarrassing, as the game punishes mistakes pretty hard. But if you're willing to learn the movement, you can overcome it. I haven't played the game that much at the time of review (~2 hours), and I can already do a stage at 150% max speed with the occasional mistake.
Play sessions aren't long unless you're very good at the game. The usual run for me right now is way less than 30 minutes.
If you're looking for a game with satisfying movement (but not "car movement" per se) which is easy to pick up once you've accustomed yourself a little bit, definitely consider this one.

A dysfunctional hoarder, an hyperactive moth and a walrus walk into a bar

what people think this game is: a rogue-lite bullet hell about surviving as long as possible

what the game actually is: spot the italian pun