to everyone in my 8:30 class this morning: I was *not* masturbating


so i was sitting in the back row of my lecture and i realized my fly was unzipped. i was trying to fix it up before anyone saw me. however, my zipper was caught in the boxers, and it wouldn’t move no matter how hard i tugged. this was creating a commotion, and these 3 girls were starting to stare. so, i started making grunting noises to indicate i was trying to fix my pants. however, it seemed like it made it worse because they started whispering and more people started to stare. so eventually i just gave up and walked out the room. when i came back, everyone kept giving me weird looks. i am really sorry for today and i just wanted to clear the air.

+rep

\+rep After a good game in csgo, I added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship. I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so I was looking forward to meeting him in real life. When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, I felt his hard D111ck push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was ♥♥♥. Don't trust this guy

I get ♥♥♥♥♥ from printers

When I was a teenager I got super bored and decided I wanted to see if I could get a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ on purpose. I set up an experiment to see if I could get a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ for something extremely non-♥♥♥♥♥♥ if I tried hard enough. So every time I wanted to whack it, I ignored looking up ♥♥♥♥ and instead looked up computer insides and maintenance imagery on google and tried to jack off to it.

The real kicker is that I'm the family's computer guy so I had to go to my grandma's house to fix the printer there, and I had to pull out the toner drum and I legitimately felt like I was doing something perverse. I could not stop getting nervous the entire time I was there because I was anxious about my poor unsuspecting family somehow finding out that opening up the printer gets my ♥♥♥♥ hard :/

TL;DR Jacked off to computer parts when I was like 15 cause I was bored and now I'm scared ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of fixing my grandma's printer in case I get a boner

Radiohead

I hate when females listen to radiohead. Theyll never understand what its like to be a true social reject. A creep. A weirdo. Theyll never understand what its like to be italian. Nobody understands me because i call movies 'films'. I am literally the joker no one understands me

ℳᴇʀʀʏ ℭʜʀɪsᴛᴍᴀs & ℋᴀᴘᴘʏ ℋᴏʟɪᴅᴀʏs!!!
˛*.。˛*˛.*☆҉ *.˛★ ˛*.。˛* ˛. *☆҉ *. ˛*.。˛* ˛. *☆҉
°*_██_*.。*/.*˛\ .˛* .˛。.˛.*.★**★ 。* . *☆҉
˛. (´• ̮•)*.. .*/♫.♫\*˛. * ˛_Π_____.♥*.*☆҉ ˛**. ˛*.。˛. *☆҉
.°( . • .) °../• '♫ ' •\.˛*./______/~＼*. ˛*.。˛* ˛*.。˛* ˛. *☆҉
*(...'•'.. ) *˛╬╬╬╬╬˛°.｜田田 ｜門｜╬╬╬╬╬*˚*. ˛*.。˛* ˛. *☆
¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯` ´¯˜"*°´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°

Love you <3

ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕒 𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕪!

Jekebs Frosted Flakes™

+rep My Best Friend

So cool he's cold

+rep Good Man

XD

ℳєɾɾy ℭhɾistmαs αnd α ℋαppy Ɲєw Ƴєαɾ!