OK GUYS THIS IS THE MOST INACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF A GAME EVER:
✓ Dietitian Simulator - because I never really paid attention to the nutritional value of foods and their effect on weight in real life
✓ Bookworm Simulator - because my character has read more books in three months than I have in my entire life
✓ Brown Pants Simulator - because I don't turn off jumpscare sound
✓ Gardening Simulator - because 90% of my time was spent growing cabbages
✓ Alcoholic Simulator - because whiskey from a dead man's kitchen cabinet is the only cure for depression
✓ Serial Undresser Simulator - because I stripped 48 corpses in one day
✓ Fashion Victim Simulator - because I died trying to steal a leather jacket from a zombie
✓ Pyromaniac Simulator - because I accidentally burned down an entire neighborhood trying to make soup
✓ Obsessive Organizer Simulator - because I spent 3 hours arranging canned food alphabetically
✓ Paranoid Simulator - because I barricaded every window in the house, then couldn't escape when the fire started
✓ Breaking and Entering Simulator - because I've broken more windows than I've killed zombies

✓✓✓ HELICOPTER PANIC ATTACK SIMULATOR - BECAUSE THAT SOUND STILL GIVES ME PTSD ✓✓✓

The game is so realistic that I'm now afraid to open my own refrigerator. Also, I stopped talking to my nephew after he decided to test his shotgun after I told him three times not to, and I was eaten alive in underwear with glass in my legs and a bag full of firearms. All I wanted was just to take the boots from the corpse...

Bought 2 more copies and forced my friends to play. Convinced several more to buy it. Now we're all lonely together.

DO NOT BUY THIS GAME if you need a social life, job, or sleep.

11/10 - the number of days before I learned not to die from an expired mouse.

OK GUYS THIS IS THE MOST INACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF A GAME EVER: ✓ Dietitian Simulator - because I never really paid attention to the nutritional value of foods and their effect on weight in real life ✓ Bookworm Simulator - because my character has read more books in three months than I have in my entire life ✓ Brown Pants Simulator - because I don't turn off jumpscare sound ✓ Gardening Simulator - because 90% of my time was spent growing cabbages ✓ Alcoholic Simulator - because whiskey from a dead man's kitchen cabinet is the only cure for depression ✓ Serial Undresser Simulator - because I stripped 48 corpses in one day ✓ Fashion Victim Simulator - because I died trying to steal a leather jacket from a zombie ✓ Pyromaniac Simulator - because I accidentally burned down an entire neighborhood trying to make soup ✓ Obsessive Organizer Simulator - because I spent 3 hours arranging canned food alphabetically ✓ Paranoid Simulator - because I barricaded every window in the house, then couldn't escape when the fire started ✓ Breaking and Entering Simulator - because I've broken more windows than I've killed zombies ✓✓✓ HELICOPTER PANIC ATTACK SIMULATOR - BECAUSE THAT SOUND STILL GIVES ME PTSD ✓✓✓ The game is so realistic that I'm now afraid to open my own refrigerator. Also, I stopped talking to my nephew after he decided to test his shotgun after I told him three times not to, and I was eaten alive in underwear with glass in my legs and a bag full of firearms. All I wanted was just to take the boots from the corpse... Bought 2 more copies and forced my friends to play. Convinced several more to buy it. Now we're all lonely together. DO NOT BUY THIS GAME if you need a social life, job, or sleep. 11/10 - the number of days before I learned not to die from an expired mouse.