Recent reviews by narwhals

even fictional bitcoin mining is a big L

murder the rich simulator

i ONLY rec for the story. take your chance to pity michael, love franklin, and despise trevor.

if you want to play online, its only fun with friends. theres WAY too namy hackers. businesses take REAL LIFE DAYS to break even and turn profit.

if story and online had seperate store pages, story would be overwhelmingly positive reviews, and online would be overwhelmingly negative.

its also kinda gross that the '''''free''''' DLC just costs a lot of in-game money, which is just paid DLC with extra steps. even bethesda was more subtle.

pretty much like gta online: too many hackers, mostly only fun with friends

"nft? more like no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ thanks"

dont spend a dubloon on EA. the sea calls for you, matey. heed its call before making trade at port, dont be like this foolish sailor.

pros: im actually learning dishes, i can throw fish like those guys in seattle

cons: smashed a tv w/ a timer, flung a porkchop into oblivion and it haunted next day's dish, no one is there to catch the fish

9.9/10 chef is a beefcake who doesnt know their own strength that just needs an equally beefy computer to keep up

"oui oui i am sezzy while playing saints row!"

Seriously: if you've never played SR, please give I + II a play first. Meet Johnny Gat. If you're just here to slap people with a giant purple plastic wanger, that's cool too, but I promise, without getting to know the characters + lore you wont even get half the experience.

All my weak spots hit: open-world, in-depth character creation, play at your own pace, and LOTS of things to do. My ONLY possible complaint is the amount of story you must play before making your character, because god the creator is just that detailed and fun, I always want to make more.

It's also actually easy to play on easy mode. If you're a dirty casual like me and/or want to play a game that doesn't make you want to throw your controller across the room/punch your computer screen, Play This Game.

It doesn't matter what your favorite color was before playing, after you're done with this game you'll be bleeding Saints Purple.

space is big and scary but not here!

does anyone still play this game hmu