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Okay stop insisting.
It was the Summer of 1978. I was walking down the beach in my neon yellow banana hammock as was the style at the time. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain on my big toe on my right foot. I looked down to see that a crab had flirtatiously pinched my toe to get my attention, and she now most certainly did have my attention. Her eyes were as gems of deepest onyx, her carapace as fiercest ruby. I took her into my hands, held her up and said to her, “I have walked this lonely shore. I’ve talked to waves and pebbles, but I’ve never loved before. Will you be my one and only? Is it ‘no’ you’re going to say dear?”