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Last week, I took a woman out to dinner and asked her to pick the GOAT. She said, "I was never a big basketball fan, but I heard Kobe was really good right? So I'll pick Kobe, I guess."
Let me tell you: I laughed so hard that I literally spit the water I was drinking all over her. I was so embarrassed for her. I patted her hand and said, "Well, awkward, but LeBron's combination of advanced metrics and longevity make him the clear GOAT". She looked confused, so I clarified for her: "Your opinion is cringe". She apologized and said she wasn't a big basketball fan and wanted to talk about something else. Yeah, if I were dumb enough to call Kobe the GOAT, I'd want to change the topic too... unfortunately for her I wasn't going to let her deflect from her mistake.
I asked her, "Oh, okay, I guess your casual opinion carries the same weight as the objective statistics I've looked at that all show LeBron James is the clear GOAT. Yeah, that seems like a rational stance to take."
Suffice it to say, there wasn't a second date. These Kobe stans are pathetic.
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