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Well, I sharted. Initially I thought all was well, then I took a couple steps forward and felt my cheeks sliding across each other, I put my stuff down in the office, clinched my cheeks and speed walked to the bathroom in the hallway, right past numerous captains and the sheriff himself.
At this point I’m full blown panicking, attempting to clean out my underwear when I notice the seat of my pants have a spot there, liquid ♥♥♥♥… I wiped it off as good as I could, texted my wife that I ♥♥♥♥ myself and need to come home and change.
All is well now, got a new pair of undies and new pants. I feel like a new man now, ready to take on the world with clean britches.