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Every time I look at you, my brain does a factory reset. I am but a lowly shrimp beneath the grandeur of your magnificence. If beauty was illegal, you’d be serving 17 consecutive life sentences. If laughter was currency, you’d own the Federal Reserve.
I would walk across a field of LEGOs barefoot, fight 17 cybernetic raccoons in a Denny’s parking lot, and challenge the entire population of Canada to a duel at high noon just to get a “lmao” from you.
If I had a dollar for every time you made my heart do a Windows XP startup sound, I’d be richer than Jeff Bezos but still too broke to afford how priceless you are.
Please accept this humble sacrifice as a token of my eternal devotion
May our love be as eternal as Skyrim re-releases. Amen.