"This game will make you smirk to one ear" -Brown Jordan, Software Engineer

"I got so scared by my friend walking in my general direction with a shovel that I browned like a squid inking except with feces and ran out of my bedroom and asked my momma to sue my friend. We lost and my friend got 1.6 million dollars from emotional damages before he put all the money into crypto and lost everything and died." -Irwin Mulch, Molecular Bacteriologist

"I threw a pipe wrench at my little sister's head." - David Leggings, Pond Scum Collector


Yep, these IGN reviews say a lot, but is this game really worth paying the hard-earned golden coins you worked so long for in the uranium mines??? Let's take a look!!!!

In this game, you play as up to four mouth-breathing, slobbering oafs, who need to pay for a new PlayStation 6, scalped for a reasonable price on EBay for upwards of $18,000 USD, a price any of us could pay by merely sneezing money out of our wallets, unless you're a knuckle-dragging moron who signed a contract with Jeff Bezos to scour the most deadly crack dens in the galaxy for bags of frozen peas and spare NVIDIA GeForce RTX 4090's laying around to sell for three nickels and a pack of already opened and already chewed gum.

If you don't feed Jeff enough stupid garbage within the time given, something cool and oddly controversial will happen. The game will show you photos of you naked around your house and then post them online, whilst also killing you and all your friends. In the video game, of course, you won't die IRL hahaaha. But your nudes will be posted online for real.

Unfortunately, THE SNOWFLAKES will soon make this unplayable because apparently "taking pictures of you naked" and "posting those pictures online without your permission" is a big deal. So enjoy the game while it lasts...