Welcome to Abiotic Factor, a game where you must survive an average day at a Blizzard Entertainment office, complete with slimy beasts, deformed coworkers, robots who punch your bones out of your body, and men open-carrying in the office. Just like the real thing!!!

You must craft, survive, and eat various piles of dirt and mud, because the only other available form of sustenance is stolen breast milk and smoked dead children. Just like the real thing!!!

Travel to many realms, such as Vaper's Hill, a land where 85% of all oxygen is now watermelon vape juice, teeming with lanky idiots who want to put your delicious blood and marrow into their vapes, for that signature dead person taste!!!
Or perhaps you would rather travel to Walmart, a wondrous land where it is always Black Friday, and every customer wants to stomp your brains into a pure, all-natural smoothie. Observe as they trample old ladies, then de-bone them so they can use their femurs as stilts to reach the Spitting Scooby-Doo Action Figure for their ugly children, who will instead watch Peppamelon on their 240p tablet.

I don't care about the other realms

If you don't trust MY word about this splendid game, then maybe some IGN reviews will make you not run out of the room and abuse your family members

"I tried to throw spears at my neighbour's pets after playing this game, and he blew a baseball-sized hole through my chest." -(The Late) Andrew Brussel

"That little spinning grub thing scared me so frigging much that I ran out of my room as fast as I could and punched my baby sister into a puddle, I've been sentenced to life in prison, 10/10 experience!!!" -White Jordan, The Imprisoned One

"This game taught my little brother to try and lift our fridge over his back, and now his spine is so broken that I can use him as my new desk chair, thank you!!!" -George Crust, Software Engineer at NASA

As you can see, only the truly deranged can get anything positive out of a wretched experience such as this game. I recommend it slightly more than I recommend having your skin peeled off. Needless to say, I give it the highest recommendation!!!

Welcome to Abiotic Factor, a game where you must survive an average day at a Blizzard Entertainment office, complete with slimy beasts, deformed coworkers, robots who punch your bones out of your body, and men open-carrying in the office. Just like the real thing!!! You must craft, survive, and eat various piles of dirt and mud, because the only other available form of sustenance is stolen breast milk and smoked dead children. Just like the real thing!!! Travel to many realms, such as Vaper's Hill, a land where 85% of all oxygen is now watermelon vape juice, teeming with lanky idiots who want to put your delicious blood and marrow into their vapes, for that signature dead person taste!!! Or perhaps you would rather travel to Walmart, a wondrous land where it is always Black Friday, and every customer wants to stomp your brains into a pure, all-natural smoothie. Observe as they trample old ladies, then de-bone them so they can use their femurs as stilts to reach the Spitting Scooby-Doo Action Figure for their ugly children, who will instead watch Peppamelon on their 240p tablet. I don't care about the other realms If you don't trust MY word about this splendid game, then maybe some IGN reviews will make you not run out of the room and abuse your family members "I tried to throw spears at my neighbour's pets after playing this game, and he blew a baseball-sized hole through my chest." -(The Late) Andrew Brussel "That little spinning grub thing scared me so frigging much that I ran out of my room as fast as I could and punched my baby sister into a puddle, I've been sentenced to life in prison, 10/10 experience!!!" -White Jordan, The Imprisoned One "This game taught my little brother to try and lift our fridge over his back, and now his spine is so broken that I can use him as my new desk chair, thank you!!!" -George Crust, Software Engineer at NASA As you can see, only the truly deranged can get anything positive out of a wretched experience such as this game. I recommend it slightly more than I recommend having your skin peeled off. Needless to say, I give it the highest recommendation!!!