Recent reviews by Muu the Witch Matron

This game is quite the mind bender. In fact, it bends your mind so much you may swear you can hear it screaming for you to stop. Prelogate is pretty much what it says on the main page; A game that uses lasers and mirrors to solve complex problems. The game itself is pretty straight-forward in that you just have to solve the puzzles. The music selection is slow and ambient, which is nice, but felt grating at some points. There's a...sorta plot, but at the same time its not entirely a plot. While the game itself is a challenge, it gets to a point where the challenge is excessive and one relies more on solution codes than spending 3 hours on one stage. While I would recommend it, it's not something I'd recommend to just anyone.

The gameplay is, as said before, using lasers and mirrors. Cool, right? Who doesn't like using lasers for weird stuff? Unfortunately, the fun part wears off pretty quickly. The game starts with simple mirrors and lasers, relying on reflection and splitting to get to an endpoint. This lasts for a few levels before the game introduces logic gates; IF, OR, AND, XOR. Naturally, anyone with a smidge of computer science learning, or fumbling around in programming, knows what these are. So it's rather an unhappy moment when you realize these logic gates don't really...feel like they belong. Sure you know how they work because of the small text window, but that's all you get. You have to figure out how they work entirely in the levels they give it to you, because it does not get esaier after this point. It is here you realize the game is about to turn from difficulty curve into a full blown Kleiner's bottle of difficulty; no matter how hard you climb, you never really escape it. Solutions become downright maddening just to clear one step out of eight. Again, it is here you start to rely more on solution codes than actually working it out.

It's there, sure. It's pretty basic, nice space-like ambience to make you feel relaxed. Which doesn't help because this game needs you to fire all cylinders in your brain. Strange how that works.

The game has some...interesting mechanics outside of the actual game. However, these interesting mechanics are simply superficial; They're there to just sit there and look nice. You can interact with the pre-level UI in some ways, but it doesn't really do much. Can't explore who you are, why you're there, what kinda people are working with you. It's just for kicks. Part of me thinks it was going to be a part of something larger, but was scrapped for reasons unknown. While the over-arching plot is you making AI systems with lasers, I felt like there could've been a little more.

I personally just could not enjoy the game after getting halfway through it. The logic gates really made the puzzles far more mind-bending than they deserved to be and the unfortunate reality to feel like I was too stupid to figure it out for myself, let alone for the rest of the game, really gave me a terrible taste in my mouth. The game does what it sets out to do, and does it well. That said, don't be surprised if you fall short of what the puzzles ask for and end up flailing hopelessly because you just don't entirely understand it. Thankfully, the pricetag is quite an enticing factor, so even if you don't really like it, 3$ for 64 levels of puzzles is a pretty rad deal.

I'm reluctantly recommending it on the off-chance people are masochistic and love a good challenge. Don't say I didn't warn you!

jesus christ no

Abstract: Short game, short review. When I first saw this game, I was pretty impressed by the art style and the idea of a cyberpunk future where you infiltrate places for...stuff (though I'd argue teleporting is more sci-fi based). The more I played, the more I became bored. While its all randomly generated, it all felt very samey to me. The only times it felt different was at the very end, on the last level. The voice acting was more akin to reading straight from a script, the wide array of characters mean nothing when only 3 or 4 of them are useful for anything. It just feels like this game was more of an artistic representation over the gameplay. The times the game becomes interesting is when the game becomes overwhelming with 6 guards buzzing all around you like rabid dogs. Oh, and a lot fo this game is RNG. Guard paths, level rewards, all of it is RNG, which means you can be legit boned by the RNG. While its a 'rogue-like', it...isn't engaging like one. I could never finish the last level due to the overwhelming amount of heresy the game continued to throw at me, forcing either a level restart or game over.

Overall, I'd give this a pass. Artistically, its phenomenal. Gameplay-wise, it plays like potato in your hands: makes a mess and hungry for food.

Abstract: Now here's a game that makes me say things I rarely get to say: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, sign me up for the next one. For how linear and short it is, the aesthetics, story, voice acting, and overall interest this game garnered from me made me glad I got this game when I did. Hell, the ending got me so good, I'm gonna grab the second game the moment it hits the store! Enough gushing, though. The game is good but has some wonky portions.

Since this game was pretty darn short, I'll just give it a short review.

The Good: Like I said before, the voice acting, the gameplay, the puzzles, the ambient sounds, the aesthetic...just about all of this game draws you in with its everything. While the colors are pretty much just black and varying blues all the way through, the contrasting colors that you do see pop out the most and will immediately draw your attention to details. The story is nothing I've experienced before, the game making me want to complete the puzzles to discover more of the puzzles.

The Okay: And, like I said before, there are some wonky parts. The interaction mechanic was a little weird having to hold it down instead of pressing it. There wasn't an option for this either, unfortunately. It being a point-and-click-like adventure, it falls into the "try everything on everything" when you get stuck. Sometimes you'll stumble across the solution, other times you'll be flying back and forth to see if you missed anything.

The Mean: The combat system, while interesting, felt like an after-thought. It didn't really add much to have combat other than to slow your roll from puzzle to puzzle. A lot of it came down to experimentation. Some puzzle solutions were pretty esoteric. It made sense, but sometimes it made you want to tear your hair out in frustration for how simple it was. At some points, you'll actually run into an enemy that pushes you into a wall, which can result in being stuck or shoved a floor under.

Overall: Would I recommend this game? ♥♥♥♥ yes I would. I'd warn them of how short it is, but if they loved point and click adventure games, then the length shouldn't be too much of a bother.

Abstract:Can kick down doors with jet boots. Into people. Off buildings.

10/10 Best game.

In all seriousness, having felt I've missed a calling in life, Gunpoint helps me wonder "what if I, too, had jet boots." Thankfully, it paints a clear picture: I'd be kickin' rad.

Set in a dystopia-like city set in the middle of a corporate warzone between two competing gun manufacturers, you play as a private investigator wearing some neato equipment that lets you perform some amazing stunts, like surviving any fall whatsoever and leaping great distances. Once you start the game, it immediately makes you go "what the ♥♥♥♥" as the plot begins. Frankly, the game is a lot more twisty and branch-y than I first expected it to be, having gone back to play different parts and answering differently. The main character you play can range from Serious McGee to Hammerhead Snark in a lot of options, making replaying a little more fun.

Music: As a detective noir-like theme, it has appropriate music, and by god its enough to make you wanna put on coat, sit outside your dinky apartment, and jam misty cancer into your lungs, letting the cigar burn away by the second, hoping it'd never end. Just like this music! Not just that, but it has a nice upbeat version of the same song when using the Crosslink (which you'll be hearing most of in this game).

Gameplay: Like I said earlier, you can jump high and fall fast without much issue. A lot of the game centers itself around stealth, so you'll be doing what you can to stay hidden. From climbing onto the ceiling, to hiding in elevators, even turning out the lights will aid you in your missions. You're rated on how you did on each mission as well, though they have no impact on a majority of missions. These ratings would mostly be for people aiming to 100% the game, which I do would advocate doing since the game is pretty darn fun! There is a time-based rating but it has no impact on any mission whatsoever, which has me wondering why its there besides just one achievement. The humor in the game will either give you a slight smirk to full blown laugh. The main character can be flat out silly in his responses. Don't be afraid to use them, no matter how dickish it is!

That said, enemies can be somewhat painful to deal with, energy management from equipment can be annoying, the plot is, strangely enough, pretty short, and kinda linear.

Overall: This game is awesome. While some things, like the ratings, don't particularly matter unless a mission specifies and are hard to justify having, everything else about this game is awesome. The theme, the music, the controls even feel nice! The plot can be sorta branching, but not in the sense that its drastically different, just a little. That doesn't mean the plot is bad. Quite the contrary, it's quite amazing. You'll be doing a lot of reading, so if you're a tl;dreader, be ready to hit "End Call" a lot.

I'd recommend this so hard, that yes button should have 2 thumbs.

A short game, so a short review. I'm late to the party, but a fresh year means fresh perspectives. Unfortunately, the end result is the same for most perspectives for this game: It's a parody of business practices nickel and diming their consumer base in order to rake in more profit. While understandable from a business perspective, its a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ business move in my opinion. I'm not gonna argue business when I don't have a college education and Ph.D in business, macro/microeconomics, or a weird combination of both, so I'll just keep it at that. These perspectives still stick today, unfortunately, but it's gotten a little better.

That said, the game is fairly linear, not much plot, humor is dated but still earns a chuckle. It's cheap, so grab it if you're looking for a quick thrill. If not, you're not missing a whole lot.

General Overview: Primordia, a point and click adventure, takes place in the unique timeline of post-apocalyptia where humans are no longer present. The only thing left is their own invention: machine. Machine that prospered and slowly became just like human, with their own ideas and vices. Even if they're limited by their programming, they could still interact with others like normal folk. Taking the reigns of Horatio Nullbuilt and Crispin, what starts as a simple retrieval turns into a full blown adventure, albeit a somewhat short trip.

Gameplay: The game itself follows the point and click style of gameplay, so its hard to screw that part up. That said, it does a good enough job being difficult and leaving you wondering "what the hell do I do now?" Thankfully, Crispin has a built in hint-o-tron to give you tips on what you could do or should do if you're ever stumped. The puzzles themselves are, in my opinion, pretty darn easy. The only difficult ones would be where you meet your unfriendly thief again or when you need access to a certain place with a long string of code. Other than that, it's pretty straight forward. Then again, I play puzzles for kicks so take that with a grain of salt.

There are some puzzles with different methods of completion, usually a good and bad way. Sometimes the bad way is the only obvious way, where the good way will require a save here and there to help you out should you pull an oopsie. By the way, you'll probably be doing this often. Puzzles do have "soft-fail" states, which can be pretty infuriating, so save often! The actual game itself is, unfortunately, pretty damn short. You could probably finish the entire game within 5 hours or so (after knowing everything and everyone and all the choices). There is A TON of going back and forth. No joke, you'll probably find yourself going back and forth between robots, trying everything, for a good 10 minutes until something works. It can get annoying fast. There are also a few references sprinkled here and there to earn a few chuckles. Some more obvious than others.

Art: Holy hell, this art style. While a mess of browns, it works so damn well together. Not to mention Horatio and Crispin always seem to stand out from the environment whenever possible, so that's also a plus. Unfortunately, the overwhelming abundance of browns makes finding some robots or items kinda difficult. Had to pull the hover method to find a few things sometimes. I understand its supposed to be post-apocalyptia, but sometimes you have to look away and rub your eyes.

Music: It's amazing. Done.

Acting: The VA in this game are beautiful and, at the same time, somewhat phoned in. Sometimes you can tell the lines are being read from the script. Other times you feel it from the heart. It is, overall, a very good experience to feel the voices actually try when they do. Funnily enough, it was the side characters that, in my opinion, had the best acting compared to our main characters.

Overall, I'd definitely recommend this game to anyone that loves a good point and click adventure with a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sound track.

Circuits, the rhythm-based indie game by Digital Tentacle, is much like any other rhythm/timing game: it has amazing music. That being said, this game separates itself in a way even I found myself intrigued by. The game was much less timing as it was having that pitch-perfect listening to hear the music, which changed from orchestra to upbeat electronica. Instead of fast reflexes, it was more fine tuning what you hear overall. Sadly, it is too good to last and leaves you wanting more. Breakdown:

Pros:
+ Amazing music score, what more can be said?
+ Interesting game mechanics (Not speed, but smarts).
+ Simplistic control scheme, nothing to be confused about.

Cons:
- Somewhat predictable melody.
- Difficulty curve turns into a wall right at the end (not very in-tune [hurr] with the game pacing).
- Too good to last forever (not really a con, but its like having a really good cake).

While I've not played any game taking place within the Vampire: The Masquerade universe, I was pleasantly surprised by the attention to detail this game in particular had. It was a unique experience, giving me a more contemporary feel of vampires in modern settings, even ones as ugly as the Nosferatu. Hell, even finding vampires of Asian descent was an interesting thing to find out. Not to mention how long the game is and how extensive some maps could be, Bloodlines proved to be an adventure worth finishing. That being said, there were some parts of the game that just felt either...off or just broken. While it didn't detract from the overall experience, they were buggersome to have to deal with. Let's break this down into two lists: Pros and cons.

Pros:

• Intriguing story. The ability to mold your path by the choices you make and the factions you choose to aid make the game replayable quite a few times.
  
• Multiple paths. As stated above, you can go a completely different route the next time you play just to see how things would've ended.
  
• Playstyles. While some types excel in some fields, you're completely capable of being any build you desire, which is a nice bonus to have when figuring out what you wish to be good at. Unfortunately some builds just don't work as the game progresses, which I'll cover below.
  
• Theme and enviroments. The world is pretty well done. I didn't expect source to be capable of this kind of detail, major props to the devs. When you walk into the different maps, the different atmosphere feels refreshing too.
  
• Characters. I was impressed by the characters and the people voicing them. They were really aggressive and sold their roles enough to make me wish they had more to say. Honestly, I feel this is the biggest selling point of this game.

Cons:

• Combat. Gotta say, the combat in this did not age well. It just didn't feel very engaging to shoot jerkfaces from a distance, nor was it fun to engage in melee combat against things that could very well kill you. The weapons were fun, sure, but it felt somewhat boring.
  
• Builds. You can pidgeon-hole yourself if you do not build your character correctly. If you go mostly charisma, you will melt later on. Buffs don't seem to make much of a difference if you don't focus your points into boosting them, which can either interfere and flatout make your build a mess. Imagine having to fisticuff a boss but doing almost no damage. Argh.
  
• Story and ending. While interesting, the story felt like it tossed elements at you without really explaining much. Like the werewolf attack . And while multiple endings exists, only one is worth bothering for, and even that can strain the nerves.
  
• Bugs. There are some game-busting bugs that were never fixed in the official release and either need a third-party tool to fix or flatout cheat to get past some triggers that just do not function anymore, which was a big detractor for me.
  
  That said, the game is pretty solid and still fun to play, even today. I'd definitely recommend this to anyone looking to play a game involving vampires and guns.

This game is so manly, Arnold came to my house to give me a high five. Then he rode off on his motorcycle, smoking a stogie, and firing all twelve of his shotguns with one hand.