So like many young modern men I enjoy pornography and partake semi regularly. There's of course a lot of porn out there and I'll confess the normal ♥♥♥♥ (pun intended) started to get kind of boring to me so I started branching out into some more extreme (but legal) genres of porn. Eventually I stumbled on scat and to be very honest it was super hot and I ended up enjoying it a lot. Something about watching a beautiful woman with a fat ass pinch off a large fecal loaf really turned me on. I'm not exaggerating when I say I spent almost 2 years of my life watching primarily scat focused porn.

Well as I got more and more into it the more I wanted to experience it myself. I tried finding women who were into it but they seemed few and far between. Eventually I found an escort who specialized in extreme fetishes and she was super hot too. But very expensive. I knew I wanted this though but I'm not super rich so I took out a cash advance on my credit card and put it with my savings. I contacted her, scheduled an appointment (last month on the 15th) and paid for a hotel room and her flight to my city. I even took time off of work on the Friday beforehand to prepare.

I was so excited my heart was racing waiting for her to show up at 6 at my room. She came, we made conversation all while I grew more excited and aroused. Finally the time came. She grabbed her suitcase and opened it and pulled out a large plastic sheet and laid it over the bed. She told me to lay down, undress and get comfortable and she'd change and return.

I did so and was so excited. After what felt like forever she came back wearing a leather corset, thigh high boots and no bottoms. She asked if I was ready. I was so excited and aroused I couldn't speak. I just nodded. She got on top of me in a 69 and told me to eat her ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I ate it like my life depended on it while she stroked and blew me. It was amazing. Then she asked if I was ready for the main course. I moaned "YES!" She put her entire ass over my face and carefully lined up her ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ with my mouth. I started to see it open up. I was so aroused as she still stroked me gently. Then I saw it open up and slowly a log started to make it's way out. I opened my mouth and as soon as the ♥♥♥♥ entered my mouth I knew I made a terrible mistake.

It tasted so bad. The smell was terrible too. It made me gag. She then moved her ass over my chest and started ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ all over me. Then she sat her ass down and started smashing and spreading it on me while still jerking me off. I was fighting the urge not to puke. Tears of shame, sadness and disgust filled my eyes as I fought the urge not to cry like a baby. She just kept ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and jerking/blowing me. Eventually I came all over her hands and she smeared my ♥♥♥ and some of the ♥♥♥♥ together and made me lick it off of her fingers. I felt like I needed to impress her and that I'd spent too much money on this to back out.

Then we went and showered and she threw the plastic sheet in a garbage bag, took the envelope of money we made some brief conversation and she left. Immediately I broke down crying, brushed my teeth for what felt like forever and got drunk trying to forget.

I found out the hard way last month that I don't have a scat fetish and honestly I feel mentally broken over that night and I don't know if mentally I can overcome this. I've been really struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts since that night. I made an appointment to see a local therapist but I hope it'll help.