Have you ever wanted to know what it's like to be a Baron of Hell vying for supremacy in the infernal pits of damnation? How about being a general manager at a retail store? What does the latter have to do with the former? Why, they're practically identical.

It's 5:45 in the morning. Your shift begins in fifteen minutes. Getting there on time will require you to take a wet-wipe bath, down half a bottle of Niacin, slam a Monster Ultra and speed the entire way to work in your 2005 Ford Fusion while blasting Papa Roach's seminal hit from 2000, "Last Resort". That ♥♥♥♥♥ Carla has been stirring up drama and went over your head to complain to the regional without observing the chain of command — looks like someone just acquired open availability on their weekends. There's a promotion available in the Twin Cities that you really want, but you're pretty sure that the brown-noser who hand-makes posters for store fundraisers is going to get it. Thankfully, you've got the ace-in-the-hole in knowing that she's been sleeping with her subordinates — and more importantly — the texts to back it up. Promotion secured. The day will run smoothly as long as the homeless people don't ♥♥♥♥ in the public bathroom's sink again. You don't get paid enough for this. You still have to find a babysitter for Friday so you can go to court and press charges against the crack head that was trying to steal condoms at 2:42 in the morning and assaulted you at the register. Thank God for CCTV.

One day it will all be worth it. All the blood, sweat and late nights binge drinking alone in your car while doom scrolling Tiktok and daring to dream of a better life beyond the 9-to-5. One day you'll break the cycle and avail yourself of the chains of post-industrial indentured servitude. You can dream beyond the borders of your squalid Dollar Tree for the pristine, Swedish, Elysium fields of an IKEA.

My brother in Christ; you know whether you're going to buy this game or not. You see the hexagons. You see a polished UI. You see animated, lovingly crafted avatars for the principle personalities of Hell. You've been promised subterfuge, politicking and conquest. You already know. If you need the last little push, then fine; here it is:

Buy the game.

It's good.

Your objective is simple: entertain the bag-of-cats known as the Conclave of Hell enough to win their support to become the new Dark Lord. The Conclave is responsible for the myriad of byzantine rules, regulations and forms that make up the bureaucratic viscera of Hell. Getting anything done is similar to trying to get Comcast to give you an extension on your bill only with slightly less threats to your family.

Wars are short affairs known as Vendetttas with clear objectives - kill that army, seize that place of power. It's essentially the same as having a brother or sister. It's your turn to play Playstation but your weasel sibling woke up earlier than you believing that, that entitles them to the game. Show them how incorrect they are by faking a medical emergency and making it look like they intentionally poisoned you. You now not only get a controller, but a couple days off from school while your beloved kinfolk face criminal charges until the cops untangle your web of lies. Hug it out a couple days later because ultimately you share the same house until you're legally responsible for yourself and let's be honest; in this economy, the likelihood of sharing the house after your parents are dead isn't 0%.

Build an army and conquer the ash-blasted vistas of Perdition. Or use that army in Theodore Roosevelts wet-dream of gunboat diplomacy by constantly demanding things from your adversaries fully-well knowing that they're going to cave or face the wrath of your legions. Erode the foundations of your opponents economy with rituals and intrigues. Constantly make fun of Beelzebub's stupid hat and force his hand into declaring a Vendetta against you so you can humiliate him further on the fields of battle. Go full war criminal and do something so heinous that even the politicians in Hell find you repulsive enough to kick you out of the Cool Kids Club, stripping you of your protections and more importantly, your need for their superfluous rules and regulations. With the same determination and knowledge of impending self-destruction as a man planting lawn ornaments onto his yard in front of the HOA President, you sally forth into a new world and shape it in your image - no Gods, no masters. Become the Morningstar.

The game is deceptively simple, but without sacrificing depth or choice. The order economy makes each decision feel meaningful and keeps you wondering whether you made the best use of your actions. I hired a deadly Praetorian and constantly challenged my rivals to duels, with nearly all of them declining to participate for fear of losing their precious Praetorians to the killing machine I selected as my champion.

Sure, it could use a little work. Some additions to the Encyclipaedia Infernum to clear up some of the finer mechanics like dueling. Some people don't like the models for the Archfiends - I'm fine with them. Sure, if they had gone with a less stylized and more realistic approach it would have better fit the gorgeous artwork - but it's completely serviceable. The AI doesn't appear to be able to play the game very well at this point in time. Having to combine currency is a small bit of tedium that they added to basically make unlocking certain things take two turns and is easily the most mystifying part of the gameplay. But there's a lot of charm, heart and love here - as you often find nestled within the most forgotten of places. I am sure with time, further development and content it will iron out some of these wrinkles and go from a 'good' game to a 'great' game. Oh, hey - and the game actually works the day it came out. Isn't that something?

You really only have to ask yourself the following: Wouldst thou like the taste of butter? A pretty dress? Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?

I guess it doesn't really matter if you buy the game or not. Given the trajectory of world events we'll be able to play this in real life in a couple months as we're all sloughed off the edge of oblivion and into a lake of fire of our own making while the monoliths of our shattered world topple and crumble to dust, heralding the arrival of The Great Dragon in the twilight of our species.

Have fun!

EDIT: Regrettably, the studio didn't recoup their finances and have basically gone into "contract for work" mode. I have never personally see a studio recover from this moment, having seen at least four do this and never pull back out. RIP. It was a good game and a fine studio.