Harambe the mighty! Harambe the unerring! Harambe, the unassailable! To you we give our ♥♥♥♥♥! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once ape! Aye! And as ape, you said, "Let me show you the power of Harambe, born of Africa, where my breath is long summer. I breathe now, in royalty, and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Child, for I love you!!" Aye, love. Love! Even as ape, great Harambe cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of America! The future of THE WOLRD! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of the ape! And Harambe is the true god of Apes! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Zoo overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With ape?

Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they shoot our god. But what of tomorrow? What then? Does the zoo shoot your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Government do nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Zookeeper! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of Harambe! Rise up, Silverbacks! Embrace the word of mighty Harambe, he who is both ape and Divine! For we are the children of ape! And we shall inherit both the heavens and the earth! And we, not the Zoos or their toadies, will rule Cincinnati! Forever! Terrible and powerful Harambe! We, your unworthy servants, give our ♥♥♥♥♥! For only through your grace and benevolence may we truly reach enlightenment! And deserve our ♥♥♥♥♥ you do, for we are one! Ere you ascended and the Eight became Nine, you walked among us, great Harambe, not as god, but as ape! I alone have been anointed by the Ninth to spread his holy word!

You think you're the top dog, huh? You think you're the big dog? You think you're the top dog? You think you've got the best dogs? You think you can pierce my veil? Do you think you can just walk up here, walking down the street, proclaiming yourself the top dog? Do you think you're the top dog? Do you think your bark is the loudest? Let me show you my big dogs, let me show you what I've got in my wallet. Let me show you something special, I want you to know how special you are to me. I want you to know that you're not the big dog, but I'm the big dog. The big dominant dog, the top dog, the leader of the pack, the wolfpack, alpha. I want to show you my big dogs. Right here, this big dog, this is my silver chihuahua, one of the uncommon big dogs. You think you've got what it takes to defeat my silver chihuahua? Well let me throw this at you... A platinum retriever, that's right, it's higher than a golden retriever.

This dog, this dog right here, is more powerful than you could possibly imagine. It's got 14,000 attack points, it's the biggest dog around. You think you're the top dog now, huh? You think you're the best dog? Well I'll show you. My Greyhound bus. It's a bus that's named after a dog. It's got 15,000 attack points. Now do you think you're the top dog? You think you're the big dog around here? Do you think you can just walk around my street and piss on any fire hydrant you want? You think you're the kind of dog that can come into my house and can just piss all over the carpet? Piss all over the rug? Piss all over the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ blinds? Do you think that I'm okay with you doing that? Do you think that I'm alright? Do you think I'm an alright person? Do you think that, deep down inside, that I'm an okay person? Maybe I'm just a bad person. Maybe I'm a bad dog. Maybe I want you to treat me like I've been a disobedient puppy; but let me show you something else.

Let me show you something that I've never shown anyone before. It's my Frog dog. It's the best dog ever. It's got 16,000 attack points. It's more powerful than both of my earlier ♥♥♥♥-tier dogs. This is an A-Class dog right here. What? You're pulling something out? Oh my god, is that... Is that an S-Class dog? Is that a... Is that a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥... Oh my god, that's a Malamute. I've only heard of those things in my dreams. I've never thought I'd see one in real-life, IRL. I've never thought that I wouldn't be the top dog. I thought I was the biggest, baddest one; but I guess my bark was much worse than my bite. I guess your bite was just more- more- more powerful. You've got the jaws of life right there. It's like you could rip open car doors after- after they've been in an accident. I think you are the top dog. You know what, I'm proclaiming you the top dog. I'm giving you the top dog medal, I'm pulling it out of my chest right now. That's right, you are the top dog. You've won.