Recent reviews by CookieGlob

why do they bind isaac what did he do

does mr pants still got it

+shmovement ouah woouhh you move so nice
+wielding a fountain pen is so freaking sick
+game looks hella nice
+surprising amount of combat options
+when you surf on the pen hhwwooohhh
+challenge levels are actually challenging sometimes
+upgrades and new moves as you progress and they are cool

=2 to 3 hour game for 10 dollars, although i guess you could argue that's fair
=not a fan of the cliffhanger but ok

-settings look super uninspired this time around, especially the challenge levels, like this game is literally just "plains --> trees --> volcano"
-all you realistically need to do for combat is press standing attack a bunch
-why did you remove directional wall jumps you freaking guy
-was i not paying attention or did the game just never tell me i could dash when i got it
-please let me remap controls

in short he still got it but i hope he gets it more

mini rant, remember how cool the challenge levels were with like the ninja dojo and the big ole tree and the city one? that level of creativity feels kind of gone in favour of a more coherent plotline, which is fine but man i miss the weirdo settings of the previous games

me personally i like apple juice better

it's like ori 1, but they go 'ok we give you your entire kit from the first game like 2 hours in, but we also give you like 10 other things so you never have to touch the ground ever'

this game is really good

it's just mafia with little dudes

as a friend put it: "super beat my meat boy"
that's not relevant in any way i just think it's pretty funny

+meat boy is responsive more often than not
+2010 newgrounds game type charm
+tough game but mostly because i like going fast, and the game encourages going fast if you like that
+jump height way controllable
+very fun achievements
+2010 soundtrack is so good

=some bandages are physically impossible to get without extra characters, which rewards getting previous ones in the first place but is also kind of stupid imo
=decent difficulty curve but near the end you got these wacko warp zones and then in comparison the regular levels are baby easy
=meat boy is either very sluggish or very floaty and there is no inbetween. he's still responsive, but i only found myself getting used to his quirks after a handful of worlds

-do i really need to watch world intros every time i enter a world, and do i really need to see "waarp zooooone!!" every time i retry a warp zone
-sometimes weird movement quirks (glitches?), like 0 height walljumps or jumping straight up off of a wall
-you cant remap controls???
-only like three extra characters are useful (i could be bad though)
-it would be nice if the plot was even half cohesive, literally at the end of world 4 he gets to bandage girl but there's still two more worlds?? like you saved her kid get outta there

anyways this game sucks sometimes but it's very fun once you get the hang of it

you can stack paint cans in the lobby so it is a pretty good game

the dlc has so much to offer that i have to split bullet points up into sections

+jake kaufman does it again baby also the mega man composer's here which is super dope
+incredible character designs even with minor characters
+absolutely bussin level design everywhere, the levels always introduce their gimmicks naturally and then rev up difficulty up from there
+movement in the dlc pops off so hard good freaking lord
+all around just the right amount of difficulty to have a nice time
+i didn't expect to get attached to these characters nor their plotlines but here i am

=50$ is a good bit of money to spend but considering it's 4 entirely distinct games (each ranging at around 6 hours a playthrough) it's entirely worth it (to be honest just get it on sale though)

-your death money sometimes ending up in impossible to reach areas kinda blows (you'll never need to grind for money but it still feels bad)
-kinda wish we got to know more about black knight and polar knight honestly

+she said it's me or fishing... sometimes i miss her

=honestly the most mid out of all of the campaigns, it's still good but in comparison is pretty lacking
=admittedly shovel knight is a bit too slow for me but i wouldn't call him clunky, he does exactly what you want him to do

-it would be cool if catching shield knight actually changed something versus yknow nothing

+the sheer amount of mix and match customization
+arguably the most fun kit with stuff like goo garment, spin burst and vat
+plague knight learns to dance and you can do it at any time afterwards
+the ending of plague of shadows just freaking :)

=the hardest start of all the campaigns but you shmoove incredibly hard the more you progress

-that one money level that's dedicated to running fast because it's instadeath everywhere and then your dropped loot gets pushed offscreen meaning it disappears

+spectre knight skateboards on his scythe and can do skateboard tricks which is so freaking sick
+rail mail, which lets you skateboard literally anywhere
+castlevania type remixes for spectre of torment stages ohhhh babeyyy
+dash slash alone makes spectre knight's kit a contender for the most fun kit and is honestly the best mechanic of the four campaigns
+unlike plague of shadows you can shmoove 100% of the campaign
+seriously incredible backstory for spectre knight

+super sick minigame in joustus
+troupple map ost hoo lordy
+nice bite sized levels let me procrastinate in smaller chunks of time

=despite the above point i somehow clocked in 12 hours time into this campaign— for comparison, the other campaigns went for 5-6 hours (it might've been due to joustus to be honest)

-you play as king knight who is an irredemable prick for like zero reason

personally in terms of campaigns it'd go spectre of torment > plague of shadows > king of cards > shovel of hope

overall though what a banger game seriously get it

there are in fact a total of seven sirens in the game

+the opening cutscene bops shoutouts trigger (i just wish i didnt have to see it each time i booted up the game but you know)
+ok the ost isnt by jake kaufman BUT it is by freaking professor sakamoto and it's pretty good
+still got a bussin inventory and it's a little expanded from the last game, cause now you've got cards and more junk to play around with (we're no hollow knight with customization but it's neat to have)
+we're back to open world exploration and we're not being contrived into "find the x doodads before the end of the world", it's more like "explore this new land and figure out what's even going on"
+monkey bullet except it's newt bullet
+actually banger map (i just wish more things were marked but oh well)
+instantaneous transormations are cool
+you can cheese a handful of heart squids like a cool dude
+empress siren's moan after you beat the first phase good god

=no warp item but you do get multiple warp points and they're marked on your map when you find em so they're still decently accessible
=fairly decent dungeons, they still follow the shantae formula but i felt more bored going through em this time around, cause puzzles were not hard at all
=huge load times were a thing but were fixed in a recent patch which is nice (you still notice it but it's not awful now)

-pitifully easy game, i went the game with no heart upgrades but was able to make do with healing items just because of how many i got also auto potions
-not even halfway through the game i already got max upgrades for all my main items, they gotta stop doing that
-game feels a little linear (both dungeons and overworld exploration) despite being open world, like there were too many restrictions at a time and you were just funneled down one specific lane at a time
-warp places make no sense because there's it's like 'some say that theres a sunken ship below the desert... but nobody knows :o' and then it's like you got the warp woman waiting there and it's like ok well
-the menu select screen isn't even remotely bussin and i'm so sad
-no storm puff so this game actually sucks nads
-horny bolo is nowhere to be seen

overall shantae is still cute girl

curly brace more like curly based