>I was only 9 years old
>I loved Tachanka so much, I had all the armor and LMGs
>I pray to Lord Tachanka every night before bed, thanking him for the life I’ve been given
>"Chanka’ is love" I say; “Chanka’ is life”
>My dad hears me and calls me a ♥♥♥♥♥♥
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Lord Chanka’
>I called him a lvl 10
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I’m crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it’s really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It’s Tachanka
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear “This is my LMG”
>He grabs me with his powerful trigger fingers and drags me across the river
>I’m ready
>I let him play with me
>He drags me across to his LMG
>It hurts so much but I do it for Chanka’
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Tachanka
>He roars in a mighty roar “LMG MOUNTED AND LOADED” as he fills my butt with his Led Bullets
>My dad walks in with his gun
>Tachanka looks him straight in the eyes and rumbles gently
>My dad shoots Chanka’, in fear of his immense power and beauty
>He drops to the floor, lifeless
>I mourn over my loss, my god had fallen
>My dad drags me out of the room, but I fight back, for Lord Chanka’
>I scream his name, but he does not answer back, for he is dead.
>Chanka’ is love, Chanka’ is life